He's baaaaaaaack.

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

My ex, who was "NEVER" going to hang out with my friends ever again because I am a "psycho stalker" has, of course (!) gone back on his word and is hanging out with them this weekend when I'm out of town.  He seems to be in his usual rotation where he misses me and decides I'm not a stalker and wants to weasel a little closer again.

I really, really wish he would go away.  Far away.  And not come back.  I hope my friends are icy cold to him.

Just needed to vent.  This can't go anywhere good.  Sigh.   

[GreenEyedMonster]

My ex, who was "NEVER" going to hang out with my friends ever again because I am a "psycho stalker" has, of course (!) gone back on his word and is hanging out with them this weekend when I'm out of town.  He seems to be in his usual rotation where he misses me and decides I'm not a stalker and wants to weasel a little closer again.

I really, really wish he would go away.  Far away.  And not come back.  I hope my friends are icy cold to him.

Just needed to vent.  This can't go anywhere good.  Sigh.   

[stimpy]

Hi GEM, that must be so maddening! I have followed your story off and on over the last few months and it seemed like it was over. I am so sorry he is doing this. Have you told your friends what happened between the two of you? Do they know how much trouble he has caused you?

Mine seems to be moving on and I haven't seen her for 6 months now. I hope I never ever see her again.

Hope you get through this ok 

[GreenEyedMonster]

Yes, it's incredibly maddening.  It seems to run in about 3-4 month cycles.  That must be how long his delusions last.

He also tends to show up when he thinks I'm dating someone else, because he has this idea that I'm obsessively in love with him.  (Actually, I would like to tell him where to go and how to get there.)

We only dated for 15 weeks and we broke up just two weeks short of a year ago.  I wish I had never met him, actually.

My friends know all the gory details.

They have revealed themselves as absolute cowards, especially my male friends.  Female friends are usually pretty good about wanting to drop-kick him out of their activities.  Male friends claim that threatening me "isn't really doing anything bad" and I should "just tolerate him."  EVERY single man I have talked to about this -- except my other ex-boyfriend and my dad -- has responded to the situation with complete and total cowardice.  What a disappointment.

[stimpy]

Hah! The similarities... .

So mine tried to recycle me a few times, mainly when she thought I was about to date someone else, or if she saw that I had moved on. She and I only dated for 3 or so months and during that short time we split up about 4 times.

I have found something similar with my male friends, who I'm afraid to say (as a guy) just don't seem to get it. It's like it doesn't compute. My female friends have been much more supportive and understanding and one in particular has been a godsend. I actually dumped a couple of "friends" as they both became quite odd about the whole thing, virtually invalidating me and my emotions. Quite a lesson in life!

Well, I hope as a guy that I have grown a little as a result of all this, maybe that is one of the payoffs.

I spooked mine and finally got rid of her by sending her three very contradictory emails, each one day after the other. One telling to stay away from me, one commenting on her silent treatment and how funny it was to watch her doing it, and the final one saying that I really missed her, but that I would never contact her again.

I knew it would blow her circuits, and it did!

Really hope you get through this. It sounds like he may be trying to provoke you into acting in some way (mine used to try and do this all the time). I heard somewhere that the best thing to do is to just ignore them and hopefully they'll go away in the end. I hope the best for you.

 

[GreenEyedMonster]

I'm hoping one of my female friends will find occasion on Saturday to mention how happy I am now without him 

[ICantFixHer]

I have found something similar with my male friends, who I'm afraid to say (as a guy) just don't seem to get it.

Same here (I'm a man), my male friends were, like, "Really? You had her arrested? Come on, you shouldn't do that."

I was, like, "F*ck you, you have no clue. Just 'cause she probably slept with you doesn't mean you got anything special out of it, she sleeps with everyone. I was the one who knew the truth about her, I was the only one. So go f*ck yourself."

I am no longer friends with those idiots. They are clueless.

My female friends, to a one, understood what I have been put through.

[Fr4nz]

Yeah, even in my case (I'm a guy) female friends were much more supportive and better understood the situation.

[GreenEyedMonster]

I have found something similar with my male friends, who I'm afraid to say (as a guy) just don't seem to get it.

Same here (I'm a man), my male friends were, like, "Really? You had her arrested? Come on, you shouldn't do that."

I was, like, "F*ck you, you have no clue. Just 'cause she probably slept with you doesn't mean you got anything special out of it, she sleeps with everyone. I was the one who knew the truth about her, I was the only one. So go f*ck yourself."

I am no longer friends with those idiots. They are clueless.

My female friends, to a one, understood what I have been put through.

Interesting that they do this with a female.  I had often ascribed my coward-friend predicament to men having a bias that other men weren't really that bad.  There seems to be a perception in society in general that men are always nice and easy to get along with unless you are the one who causes problems.  People have a preconceived notion that for this guy to go off like he did, he must have been provoked by something really unusual.  He wasn't.  We had ONE fight.  EVER.

I increasingly think that my ex has a "special blend" of Paranoid PD and BPD.  He is terrified by women, but sort of titillated by the idea of being engulfed by them.  Unfortunately, when men act afraid of women, because of aforementioned bias, they tend to get taken seriously, because women are always the crazy and hysterical ones, right?