How Can I Get My Adult Daughter More Help/Support?

[kellygirl601]

My daughter is 23 and has had issues for years.  She is currently on SSI and has her own apartment.  I know she is struggling.  She tells me if she knew how bad things would be at 23 she would have tried harder to kill herself when she was younger... .
My question is, how do I get more support for her?  In my opinion she should be in heavy therapy.  She has a psychiatrist that she has had for some time and really likes him.  She also has a drug counselor that she was hooked up with through the system.  She sees him once a week and has a great relationship with him.  She no longer seems to have drug issues, but he is a positive thing for her and she sees him once a week.  She has gone through a few therapists, but no one seems to click.  She really liked one, but the woman told her that she was too loud and that others were complaining.  She is loud, and this really set her off.  She has nothing to do.  I know she needs more in her life.  I suggest volunteering and such but I just get attitude back.  I feel like she needs to see a therapist daily, if not every other day.  I just don't know how to make that happen.  I feel like with the right help, she could have such a better life.  Help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi Kellygirl601 and welcome to bpdfamily

I'm glad you found us, though sorry why you are here. You are not alone. I joined last December it was such a relief to talk with people who understand, I have learnt so much from the great resources, tools and lessons and am moving forward, small steps. My 27yr daughter commenced DBT a few months ago, alcohol counselling and sees her psychiatrist and GP. Lately during an impending crisis she called the crisis team and set up every other day meetings with them, this really helped her get back in control. Sounds like your daughter is doing well on some counts, though struggling as you say there are gaps in her medical support, intensive DBT therapy? I'm sorry your daughter was told she was too loud, some are too quiet ... .I guess it's about everyone finding that happy medium where everyone communicates successfully with the aid of the group leader. How have you accessed therapy previously? Do you have a Dr you can talk with?

Stay with us, ask questions, we are walking with you.

WDx
 

[lbjnltx]

Hi kellygirl601,

Have you looked into any kind of group therapy for your d23?  DBT has a group and individual component... .if she doesn't want to attend therapy perhaps some other kind of support group would connect her to others and give her some accountability source.

Also, I think our young adults could really benefit from a life coach... .would have to be the right one though... .I may look into that for my d19.

lbj

[Bright Day Mom]

Have you tried other avenues aside from therapy?   One thing that helped my daughter tremendously is exercise... .kick boxing for her, she gets lots of anger and frustration out, it's also a place to go that isn't focused around "therapy" and makes her feel more normal, like everyone else.

I do like your idea of volunteering.  There are lots of opportunities and community involvement that gives you a purpose; she could actually make wonderful connections and begin forming new friendships, which many BPD kids find very difficult to maintain. The important thing is it has to be something she enjoys. (ie, she's good at manicures, she could contact the recreation dept of a local nursing home, cooking - contact a local soup kitchen, etc.)

Good luck and let us know how things are going