My ex cut both wrists.

[confused1966]

Hi everyone.  Ill be short.  My ex of 4 years ended things.   A year later she drew me back on... .then within a month she cut both of her wrists.  Called me to come and save her.  She was in her bathtub, blood everywhere begging me to let her die. I dressed the gashes and called 911.  I stood by her side for weeks while she tried to recover.  Shortly thereafter she slowly pulled away.  Spring came and she went golfing with another guy.  Golf was our thing and this was just a huge kick to the gut.  I lost it and said leave me alone youve made a fool of me. she beggd me to ta
k but I refused.  Now its been a year.  She has tecently sent little msgs about us but after two months they have stopped.  I am extremely depressed over this and cant seem to shake this overwhelming sense of loss and despair.  Any help would be greatly appreciated thankyou.

[fromheeltoheal]

I'm sorry you're going through that confused1966, it is very painful and confusing.  Welcome though, if your ex exhibits traits of the disorder you're in the right place, we've all been there and we understand.  There are a lot of resources on this site and I encourage you to read a lot, and also post what you're feeling and thinking, it's good to get it out, and you'll get a lot of support and information as you detach and heal. 

BTW, borderlines hate to lose an attachment, it's the worst thing that can happen, so it's not surprising she's sent you messages, trying to retain an attachment with you, and it's up to you what you do about that.  Take care of you!

[StayStrongNow]

Confused1996 I can relate to the carnage involved with a pwBPD slitting wrists. My stbxBPDw slit both her wrist too but each one on separate occasions. I was called on the phone both times by her to come and help. The first time her mother arrived, the second time 10 years later after she called me, I rushed home from work and saw what you described. I called a neighbor to help. We stopped the bleeding then as I was describing the neighbor the situation, she made 2 more deeper cuts with the same razor she was hiding from us.

The stbxBPDw begged from her drunken stupor not to call 911. She already experienced the protocol of what happens to a potential or actual suicide threat. Ten years ago she spent 5 days under 24 hour watch, I booked her out of there, it resembled a prison. This time under pressure I called 911 but by the time the policeman showed up we had her all bandaged up and I descibed her as just being drunk and nothing about cutting. So I did not have her sent away.  I later wished I did let her go, it came back to bite me.

I am so sorry you saw this. Did she slit her wrist along her inside of her arm the long way, perpendicular to her arm? Or did she cut directly across the veins by her wrists? The stbxBPDw went the long way along the arm and really did not cut any veins or arteries. She could have bled to death though. Both occasions she cut this way and both occasions she cut either shortly before, during or after calling someone. In my case her mother or me.

My point is if stbxBPDw was really committing suicide, I doubt she would be calling anyone and the method did not seem really immediately effective. She told me that she has so much emotional pain that sometimes it gets so unbearable that she needs to inflict a lot of physical pain in dyer hope that the emotional pain goes fades some. Strange thinking to me, it just makes everything worse.

All I can really share with you is in my experience it repeated a decade later. I see very little chance of her making a spontaneous remission from BPD anytime soon if ever. This is who she was, who she is and a good chance of who she will be and I cannot waste my life being her go to call the next time she further self destructs.

I just deserve better, and I think you do too.