Paternal family

[rarsweet]

I have been thinking lately that my daughter won't have any paternal family. It's bothering me. My ex's sister came for her 2nd birthday party in July, but that is the only contact since summer of 2015. She hasn't contacted me since the party, even though I sent a FB friend request, she didn't accept. She is 2 hours away. Obviously ex's dad isn't having anything to do with daughter. Ex's brother and family live in Alaska. His mother is in Florida but has really never been in his life besides contact once every 5 years or so. Ex doesn't have any other family around here and none that I have met besides his dad and sister. I thought maybe that his sister would pop up around Christmas time and ask to see daughter. I want to say no if that happens. I don't want people popping in and out of her life, yet I feel bad that she doesn't have that family. Anyone else in these situations have no extended family members involved from the other side?

[Turkish]

We get what we're given,  good or bad by our estimation.  

This feeling is not uncommon here: "I want my child to have a r/s with [insert person with BPD or otherwise]."

I wish my little kids could have a r/s with by mother with BPD. As it is,  that isn't so.  I validate whatever they say and feel.  As much add we might desire whatever vision we have in mind,  these things can't be forced.  If the ex-laws can't be bothered,  it's not our responsibility to force a relationship,  even if it is sad,  the lack of engagement or interest.