Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
September 28, 2024, 02:03:18 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Things I couldn't have known
Supporting a Child in Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder
Anosognosia and Getting a "Borderline" into Therapy
Am I the Cause of Borderline Personality Disorder?
Emotional Blackmail: Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)
94
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
How to confront Grown daughter
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: How to confront Grown daughter (Read 439 times)
Nami mommy
Fewer than 3 Posts
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1
How to confront Grown daughter
«
on:
November 08, 2016, 08:45:31 AM »
Hi, our 32 year old daughter, who has lived on her own since graduating college, has quit her job and insisted we support her dreams of becoming a writer. She verbally abuses my husband and threatens if he doesn't financially support her she will do something drastic. He is afraid not to help her because of past suicidal behavior. (She was diagnosed with major depression at age 15, then bipolar, then BPD). We don't know how to challenge her decision to sublet her apartment and drive across country with 2 pets and stay at our (empty) summer home for the winter. She talks with me as if I have no idea she is abusive to her father. I'm afraid to say anything to her because she will turn against both of us. She'll be leaving her therapist and doctors, and live in a town where she has alienated the only person she knows ( my sister) with her explosive behavior. She says it's only for 6 months, but we are still wary. Financially, it's not a burden, but we don't think it's a good idea for her mental or physical health. We just don't know how to say no without setting her off!
Logged
Our objective
is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to
learn the skills
to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
livednlearned
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12866
Re: How to confront Grown daughter
«
Reply #1 on:
November 08, 2016, 09:54:59 AM »
Hi Nami mommy,
The suicide threats must be so hard for you and your husband, following on the heels of her past suicidal behavior.
I remember in the book I Hate You, Don't Leave Me there is a section on double bind scenarios like the one you describe, including one that deals specifically with suicide threats. It is in a section about SET (support, empathy, truth) statements and a good explanation of how that particular communication skill works in different situations. There is also a section on SET skills in the sidebar to the right, although I found it was helpful to read through different scenarios in the book to find situations that reflected my own, and apply them almost word for word.
Logged
Breathe.
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
>
Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
> Topic:
How to confront Grown daughter
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...