23 years in hell

[Mabi]

I am going crazy. My world is turning upside down.Please help.

We got married in 1992.I love my wife and she has been my world.But from the very begining problems started that i can now be able to recall. We started arguing over some very simple and small matters. I would let it go by being the loser and i didnt mind.We argued about everything and we would even get physical something that i have never done in my entire life.I started building inside myself anger that has become too heavy.

Our relationship affected my life in such a bad way in terms of my career and other relationships with family members and friends.

There is so much that has been going on that it cant fit on this page.

Last year i was on the verge of breaking down and i took a hard look at my life and started asking myself hard questions of why and how this is happening to me.
I read a lot of books till i came across books on BP, sociopath BPD narcisism and all the symptoms  i saw them in my wife.I had no doubt in my mind that this has been the monster in my marriage.My son is now 22 and my daughter is 16. they are also victims of the same treatment.they are not aware.It is affecting my sons life that he has become very fearful and has very low self esteem.I want to leave but i dont want them to be violated.

She is in denial. She cannot agree to seek help. She says it even though i have never told her that she exhibits some abnormal behaviors.

Every year it gets worse and worse

I dont know what to do

The best book i everread that has helped me a lot is {walking on Egshells]

PLEASE HELP ME

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[drained1996]

Hi Mabi,



It sounds like you are way down... .and that's a familiar story you will see here if you take some time and read the posts of other members.  Having a loved one suffer from traits of BPD is very mentally, emotionally and physically draining.  We know... .many here either are there, or have been there!  You are not alone.  
I'll ask straight forward... .your subject reads 23 years in hell... .What do YOU want to do here?  Are you looking to save your relationship?  If so, there are plenty of tools and lessons here that can help you on your way, as well as member input from their own experiences.  I ask, because your post isn't clear to me what YOU are looking for here.  
I will say... .either way... .your immediate situation calls for some understanding on your part.  Most of us here get that we cannot change our person with BPD, but we can change how we react to and communicate with them.  Combining a working understanding of the illness and its nuances with some self centering and using the communication skills suggested here can help improve your situation.  To the right margin of this page you will see some tools and lessons to help guide you into implementing these very things.  
You've found the right place for knowledge, understanding and sharing.  Feel free to share any questions, thoughts or feelings.  We are here.