My Mother and My Sister

[Depression = 72% of members]

After a little while has passed us by, everything has seemed to calm down regarding the whole situation with my mother and my youngest sister, as well as the situation with child protective services, including her temper.
However, I write as of yet to seek out help for yet another problem.
Two, in fact.
I, recently, went downstairs to check and see if the thermostat was up high (as it cannot be too high during the night)
And, behold, my youngest sister is sitting in bed, with a brand new device on her lap. One, of which she is not allowed to use, as after that incident during the holidays, she was grounded, and considering she cannot communicate with my mother, not even through social media, without supervision, everything needs to be taken away. They both have been breaking this rule.
My first question, however, is this.
I believe she received the device after seeing my mother on Saturday, which she will now do regularly, from 10am to 11am. Is there any possibly way that, perhaps, the person supervising the visit (as it is at a center of some sort in Concord) make sure nothing like this happens? Or should we simply check for ourselves?

The second situation I fear will come into play is something I wish will never happen.
My sister was on the phone with my mother one night.
Now, to give you some background, my mother was illegally seeing my sister at her work, without supervision. The police were notified after we found out, and, she was told not to do it again, as a warning, after she admitted to it.
My sister, as I overheard, mentioned something along the lines of a man seeing her, who is six foot five, saying he was 'trying to be inconspicuous'.
My mother, has a boyfriend. I fear that this was him coming to see my sister, and I am so afraid that she will begin to see him as the better father figure, and my own father will have to suffer through more.
My second question is, what the heck do I do about this?
I understand I must notify my father of my suspicions, but is there anything we can do to handle this aside from another blowout with her?
Any advice?

[Mister Watson]

After a little while has passed us by, everything has seemed to calm down regarding the whole situation with my mother and my youngest sister, as well as the situation with child protective services, including her temper.
However, I write as of yet to seek out help for yet another problem.
Two, in fact.
I, recently, went downstairs to check and see if the thermostat was up high (as it cannot be too high during the night)
And, behold, my youngest sister is sitting in bed, with a brand new device on her lap. One, of which she is not allowed to use, as after that incident during the holidays, she was grounded, and considering she cannot communicate with my mother, not even through social media, without supervision, everything needs to be taken away. They both have been breaking this rule.
My first question, however, is this.
I believe she received the device after seeing my mother on Saturday, which she will now do regularly, from 10am to 11am. Is there any possibly way that, perhaps, the person supervising the visit (as it is at a center of some sort in Concord) make sure nothing like this happens? Or should we simply check for ourselves?

The second situation I fear will come into play is something I wish will never happen.
My sister was on the phone with my mother one night.
Now, to give you some background, my mother was illegally seeing my sister at her work, without supervision. The police were notified after we found out, and, she was told not to do it again, as a warning, after she admitted to it.
My sister, as I overheard, mentioned something along the lines of a man seeing her, who is six foot five, saying he was 'trying to be inconspicuous'.
My mother, has a boyfriend. I fear that this was him coming to see my sister, and I am so afraid that she will begin to see him as the better father figure, and my own father will have to suffer through more.
My second question is, what the heck do I do about this?
I understand I must notify my father of my suspicions, but is there anything we can do to handle this aside from another blowout with her?
Any advice?

[Naughty Nibbler]

Hey Mister Watson:

How old is your younger sister?

Sounds like you have a tough situation.  I think you need to take the burden off your back and place it with your dad.  :)o you fear retribution from your sister, if you inform your dad?  Perhaps your dad can police the rules he has set in such a way that you aren't identified as a snitch.  Some parents might enforce a restriction on electronic devices, by doing a search of the child's room.  Where do you think your sister is keeping the prohibited device? (purse, backpack, hidden in her room)

I think your dad needs to know the details regarding the electronic device and anything that broke a court order.  In some situations, you might consider not being a snitch, but I don't think it can apply here.  Since there are some significant issues going on with your sister, I think you need to share information with your father and let him take appropriate measures.  I believe you indicated previously that your sister is abusive and can get physical.  Have you been able to talk to your dad about a safety plan?

As far as a relationship that your sister might develop with her mother's boyfriend, you don't have any control over that.  You can't prevent your sister from possibly idealizing mom's boyfriend and devaluing her/your father.  I can see how that situation would be very hurtful for both you and your dad.  

[Mister Watson]

My sister is fourteen, turning fifteen this January. And yes, I do not want unwanted conflict with her, as it, quite clearly, never ends well.
I did inform my father of the device, however. She keeps it in her backpack, as far as we both know, but I'm letting him handle the rest. Unfortunately, I haven't discussed a safety plan with him, but, I plan on making it my mission to do so this weekend, to help further situations such as this.
As far as I know, I think he talked with her after picking her up from work this night. So far, she seems relatively calm, so perhaps the situation has already been handled. I don't suppose there's much I can do about this, but simply prepare for the worst scenario.
I will see if he has discussed the situation with her this night or not. But in the meantime, I'll just have to wait and see. He's already handling so much right now, and my mother messing with us through my sister isn't something he needs. Is there anything else I could do to help the situation?

[Naughty Nibbler]

MISTER WATSON: 

I think you are doing a good job of having your father's back. I'm sure he appreciates you. Perhaps you might just ask him if there is something he would like you to help with.

[Mister Watson]

I most certainly will!
Thank you for helping me with this, by the way. It does help!