Please advise me

[Depression = 72% of members]

My friend who has borderline personality disorder has been dating a guy for 3 months. She broke up with him on Monday, told him he was useless and should die, but they got back together two days later. They almost broke up before because his ex kept calling him, who he claimed he blocked. He still talks to her on Discord, where my friend isn't, and recently started following her on Instagram again. He also wrote about some girl: 'she's pretty, can she cook?' and wanted her Instagram. He also hearted a rather inappropriate joke about stuffing her mouth with his pen*s. Do you think I should tell her, or would it just upset her? Does this relationship even have a chance of lasting?

[tomas125cz]

My friend who has borderline personality disorder has been dating a guy for 3 months. She broke up with him on Monday, told him he was useless and should die, but they got back together two days later. They almost broke up before because his ex kept calling him, who he claimed he blocked. He still talks to her on Discord, where my friend isn't, and recently started following her on Instagram again. He also wrote about some girl: 'she's pretty, can she cook?' and wanted her Instagram. He also hearted a rather inappropriate joke about stuffing her mouth with his pen*s. Do you think I should tell her, or would it just upset her? Does this relationship even have a chance of lasting?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

She broke up with him on Monday, told him he was useless and should die, but they got back together two days later.

That seems like stuff that would be said privately between only two persons.

How are you finding out about their personal relationship information?

Do you think I should tell her, or would it just upset her?

What would your goal be, in telling her these things?

[Pook075]

Do you think I should tell her, or would it just upset her?

It would certainly upset her...that would upset anyone.  I agree with Kells though that it comes down to your motivations here- is it to "save her" from a bad relationship?  Or is it more with the hopes that she'll be single and available?

Does this relationship even have a chance of lasting?

Sure, every relationship has a chance of lasting...including ones that don't seem to work on paper.  People with BPD tend to run hot/cold emotionally and the breakup was her saying something in the moment that may or may not have been accurate (he's useless and should die).  That's what she felt in the moment but that's not an accurate representation of how she always feels.  We know that because they were back together two days later.