Pattern change

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have noticed a switch in my uBPDh over the last several months. Prior his cycles consisted of periods of happiness where I and my kids were his focus and the best things ever in his eyes to periods where my kids and I were pure evil and my stepdaughter and our 2 kids together were his focus of happiness but in a control way, in that he showed them
love by controlling their every interaction…so if they stubbed their toe, I was pure evil because I knowingly had that corner of the wall built there to stub our child’s toe and if one of the kids socks were missing I clearly stole the sock out of their room out of spite for them and he had to protect them from me and my 2 other children because we are evil and out to get him, my stepdaughter and our 2 children together. He “protected” them by not allowing my stepdaughter to be a part of our lives, by screaming at me and by buying our shared children’s love. Last December a big event happened in our lives where his rage got him in trouble and he was forced to start DBT therapy   Since then, his cycles have switched. He now goes through the same period where I and my 2 children, are the best things ever, to a period where he won’t speak to me (and our kids because that would mean having to contact me) and only does stuff for my stepdaughter (the golden child) to a period where he semi ignores me but also tries to get me to take the bait and get me into an argument but he is over the top crazy with all of the kids…my 2, our 2 and my stepdaughter. Our 2 think it’s great (cause they are young and daddy is being silly and playing), my 2 want nothing to do with this stage and my stepdaughter thinks it’s great even though she is 14 as the 2 of them have this very strange relationship where they both act at that level together…pouring bottles of water on the others heads in the middle of the grocery store, throwing a ball at the other one’s head over and over when they are talking to someone else, wrestling and tickling each other to an extreme level, etc to the point where a big scene is made wherever they are. My H knows that I will not allow him to have the kids (he is temporarily not allowed to live with us) if he is not in a good mood, so my guess is that he has switched his cycle to this so I can’t justify that his mood is too dangerous for the kids to be around. Does it sound like that to others…just trying to process this change.
Also, his moods do not fit reality at all. For example, the other day, his sister was in town, whom I have met only 2 times before (even though we have been married for over 7 years). We were all supposed to go out to dinner together. I arrive at dinner with 3 of my kids, he was supposed to bring my youngest daughter, my stepdaughter, his sister and niece. I am waiting for them in the parking lot and I get a call from his sister that he just kicked her and my niece out of his house because she told him the toilet was not working, no car and they have never been to where we live so no idea of a place to stay. While they got an uber to a hotel, my h came to dinner with our daughter and my stepdaughter. He acted like everything was great and told me that his sister and niece were not feeling well so decided to get an early plane home!  Yet, my stepdaughter was just about in tears the whole time and our youngest was very happy to see my and my h acted like all was great, not a worry in the world that he just threw 2 women onto the street just as it was getting dark with no where to go. Without his knowledge, I ended up getting them from their hotel and having them stay at our place without his knowledge since he currently is not there and taking them to the airport when it was time for them to leave. The same is currently happening, the kids and I are on a vacation with my side of the family. He backed out at the last minute and said he didn’t want to be a part of our vacation, yet he still has my stepdaughter for the week like they are going on vacation, she is just hanging out at his place while he works, but the few times we have text he tells me that they are great and having so much fun…though I am sure he is working, my stepdaughter watching her phone and they are probably pouring bottles of water over each other’s heads when they go to the store! Lol

[dtkm]

I have noticed a switch in my uBPDh over the last several months. Prior his cycles consisted of periods of happiness where I and my kids were his focus and the best things ever in his eyes to periods where my kids and I were pure evil and my stepdaughter and our 2 kids together were his focus of happiness but in a control way, in that he showed them
love by controlling their every interaction…so if they stubbed their toe, I was pure evil because I knowingly had that corner of the wall built there to stub our child’s toe and if one of the kids socks were missing I clearly stole the sock out of their room out of spite for them and he had to protect them from me and my 2 other children because we are evil and out to get him, my stepdaughter and our 2 children together. He “protected” them by not allowing my stepdaughter to be a part of our lives, by screaming at me and by buying our shared children’s love. Last December a big event happened in our lives where his rage got him in trouble and he was forced to start DBT therapy   Since then, his cycles have switched. He now goes through the same period where I and my 2 children, are the best things ever, to a period where he won’t speak to me (and our kids because that would mean having to contact me) and only does stuff for my stepdaughter (the golden child) to a period where he semi ignores me but also tries to get me to take the bait and get me into an argument but he is over the top crazy with all of the kids…my 2, our 2 and my stepdaughter. Our 2 think it’s great (cause they are young and daddy is being silly and playing), my 2 want nothing to do with this stage and my stepdaughter thinks it’s great even though she is 14 as the 2 of them have this very strange relationship where they both act at that level together…pouring bottles of water on the others heads in the middle of the grocery store, throwing a ball at the other one’s head over and over when they are talking to someone else, wrestling and tickling each other to an extreme level, etc to the point where a big scene is made wherever they are. My H knows that I will not allow him to have the kids (he is temporarily not allowed to live with us) if he is not in a good mood, so my guess is that he has switched his cycle to this so I can’t justify that his mood is too dangerous for the kids to be around. Does it sound like that to others…just trying to process this change.
Also, his moods do not fit reality at all. For example, the other day, his sister was in town, whom I have met only 2 times before (even though we have been married for over 7 years). We were all supposed to go out to dinner together. I arrive at dinner with 3 of my kids, he was supposed to bring my youngest daughter, my stepdaughter, his sister and niece. I am waiting for them in the parking lot and I get a call from his sister that he just kicked her and my niece out of his house because she told him the toilet was not working, no car and they have never been to where we live so no idea of a place to stay. While they got an uber to a hotel, my h came to dinner with our daughter and my stepdaughter. He acted like everything was great and told me that his sister and niece were not feeling well so decided to get an early plane home!  Yet, my stepdaughter was just about in tears the whole time and our youngest was very happy to see my and my h acted like all was great, not a worry in the world that he just threw 2 women onto the street just as it was getting dark with no where to go. Without his knowledge, I ended up getting them from their hotel and having them stay at our place without his knowledge since he currently is not there and taking them to the airport when it was time for them to leave. The same is currently happening, the kids and I are on a vacation with my side of the family. He backed out at the last minute and said he didn’t want to be a part of our vacation, yet he still has my stepdaughter for the week like they are going on vacation, she is just hanging out at his place while he works, but the few times we have text he tells me that they are great and having so much fun…though I am sure he is working, my stepdaughter watching her phone and they are probably pouring bottles of water over each other’s heads when they go to the store! Lol

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

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