Seeking understanding of my situation

[K8ERose]

My significant other has recently been diagnosed with BPD. We have been together for over 15 years. The diagnosis has changed a number of times over the years. BPD is the most accurate from all indicators. Although he is being treated, and I myself see a therapist, it seems we are very much on our own, or at least I am. There is no family support, there are no friends anymore. I recently found out that the entire time we’ve been together. He has been splitting me to everyone he knows, and while I picked up on that, I didn’t know the extent of it until recently. It seems that unless someone has lived this situation there is no way they can comprehend it. Hoping to find information and support from people who understand what I’m going through.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[losthope1234]

 Hi and welcome to the forum,

Yes, i understand what you are saying. I have had the same experience. We are childhood sweethearts and even in school, i indirectly used to figure out that he has split on me and his friends are talking behind my back. I used to be very hurt. Fast forward many years, now I am married, his parents apparently liked me but now I directly catch him speaking how bad I am over the phone one day.. It's so hurtful.. what I have done about it? Nothing honestly.. It's not upto me to go beyond my ways to 'prove' that i am good.. let people believe what they have to.. i be the best version of me to them too.. it's upto them to judge me as good or bad.. as for the hurt inside regarding him doing this even though I love him so much - yes that pain is real.. there's little we can do.. unless he realises through therapy that he does something called 'splitting' and it's unhealthy, I don't think this can be changed. Through our therapy, we can aim to build a stronger self esteem such that our own view of us is not influenced by his (i am guilty of this, and i am taking steps to change it)..so bottom line, know that you are not alone.. sharing helps.. we are here to support..