Reeling from being dumped and ignored

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hi

I feel like I'm going mad. Met what I thought was a wonderful man. He very quickly declared his love for me then asked me to marry him. I was swept away and said yes(I'd just come out of a disastrous relationship) all was great for about 6 months then he started acted erratically, terrible mood swings, manic behaviour, threats to leave me, he was hypersensitive to everything, I was walking on eggshells. Through all this I supported him, thinking as a loving partner I should, with his obvious mental illness. I thought he might have bi polar. He has always maintained his love for me (albeit not a strongly as when we first met) but I noticed little criticisms, my job not good enough, I could do better, my flat decor not nice etc. He's never been physically abusive but said nasty things in anger that left me shaking. He's always told me I'm a good person but in the last 6 months my gut feelings have been that deep down he doesn't feel quite the same. Anyway we went to a party last Saturday night and both drank too much. The next morning he came to my flat, packed all his stuff said that I'd said something terrible when I was drunk(I've never said nasty things to him sober) then he just walked out. I sent a couple of grovelling texts and emails that day but since then I've heard nothing at all. I'm not on fb so don't check his feed. He is
 a recovering drug addict and by his own admission very selfish. The day before we split up he was telling people he would be nothing without me and that he wanted me forever. I'm so confused.   He also seems quite proud of the fact that he has never been dumped by a woman and that he can cut people out of life at the drop of a hat. Despite all this I miss him pathetic, I know.We've been together a year and a half.

[Chandral]

Hi

I feel like I'm going mad. Met what I thought was a wonderful man. He very quickly declared his love for me then asked me to marry him. I was swept away and said yes(I'd just come out of a disastrous relationship) all was great for about 6 months then he started acted erratically, terrible mood swings, manic behaviour, threats to leave me, he was hypersensitive to everything, I was walking on eggshells. Through all this I supported him, thinking as a loving partner I should, with his obvious mental illness. I thought he might have bi polar. He has always maintained his love for me (albeit not a strongly as when we first met) but I noticed little criticisms, my job not good enough, I could do better, my flat decor not nice etc. He's never been physically abusive but said nasty things in anger that left me shaking. He's always told me I'm a good person but in the last 6 months my gut feelings have been that deep down he doesn't feel quite the same. Anyway we went to a party last Saturday night and both drank too much. The next morning he came to my flat, packed all his stuff said that I'd said something terrible when I was drunk(I've never said nasty things to him sober) then he just walked out. I sent a couple of grovelling texts and emails that day but since then I've heard nothing at all. I'm not on fb so don't check his feed. He is
 a recovering drug addict and by his own admission very selfish. The day before we split up he was telling people he would be nothing without me and that he wanted me forever. I'm so confused.   He also seems quite proud of the fact that he has never been dumped by a woman and that he can cut people out of life at the drop of a hat. Despite all this I miss him pathetic, I know.We've been together a year and a half.

[once removed]

hi Chandral and

it does sound like youve been through quite a roller coaster. you are in good company with people that can relate.

i dont think its pathetic to miss someone that you have been in a relationship with for a year and a half, though you will find that sometimes members can be self critical and feel conflicted - that they "should" not feel the way they do. it was a turning point in my recovery when i gave myself permission to grieve.

how can we best support you right now Chandral? are you seeing a therapist? many members have found it to be an invaluable resource in their healing process.

and please keep posting. we are here to support you!