Spring break - alternate title: what fresh hell is this?

[Lalathegreat]

It worked out with my teaching break and parenting plan to take a 5 day trip with pwBPd and his son to the ocean. I was feeling hopeful and optimistic, we had been getting along quite well in the days leading up.

I am typing this from the balcony of our rental home. PwBPD just told me that I am the opposite of "peace" and the reason he can't relax on his trip and that I'm refusing to be close to him and as he's yelling all this he broke his glasses in his hands.

For now he is "taking a nap" and I am trying to chill the F out close enough to keep an eye on his son but far enough away to try to regain some of my own presence of mind.

This is hell, I'm sure of it.

[Thereeldeel]

It worked out with my teaching break and parenting plan to take a 5 day trip with pwBPd and his son to the ocean. I was feeling hopeful and optimistic, we had been getting along quite well in the days leading up.

I am typing this from the balcony of our rental home. PwBPD just told me that I am the opposite of "peace" and the reason he can't relax on his trip and that I'm refusing to be close to him and as he's yelling all this he broke his glasses in his hands.

For now he is "taking a nap" and I am trying to chill the F out close enough to keep an eye on his son but far enough away to try to regain some of my own presence of mind.

This is hell, I'm sure of it.

I'm so sorry... .for whatever reason, vacations are a trigger with my PwBPD. I've spent nights in your exact shoes. I've stared at a couple oceans over the years after an anger episode wondering how I got into this situation.

Not being able to get excited about vacations is one of the more devastating aspects of my situation. I always know there's a possibility of it getting cancelled last minute or of something go horribly wrong.

Fortunately, on vacations the day after an episode everything usually ends up completely flip flopping and ending up good. I hope your experience turns out the same way

[DaddyBear77]

One memorable beach vacation, my pwBPD grabbed a knife out of the silverware drawer and threatened herself while D3 (then only an infant) slept in the other room.

I think it's the change in routine that disrupts something. Or maybe it's that expectations are so high, that the inevitable let down feels extra horrible.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I really hope tomorrow is a better day.

[formflier]

Our last few vacations have gone fairly well.

There was a couple years in there where I planned things so I would have another car or exit plan.  Used it several times.


What did you say when he said that you were the opposite of peace?  What happened in the run up to that?

One "stance" or "boundary" you may want to consider is not listening to uninvited opinions about you.

Likely would be quite entertaining (from a certain point of view) to get him used to that type of thing.

What would you life be like if he asked if you were up for listening to his opinions about you... .and you had the option to say "not now... over dinner would be better... "? 

FF