Why does he block all my options ?

[AnonUK]

My H shows traits of BPD. I recently read about BPD and trying to understand the behaviour and working on making my interactions with him more validating and less conflicting.

I am currently struggling with one issue which seems to be opposite of setting a boundary. He just does not allow me to do many things. E.g.
 He has a business of his own. He wants me to work only with him. Wants me to take same amount of interest in the business as him. I am able to help him but its not something I have done earlier. So its kind yof new to me but if I work on it for sometime I will be able to do it properly. Initially he did not allow me to work by blaming me for taking a six months of break after we got married. He said that it showed that I had no interest in his work as I choose to take a break after marriage ( I wanted to concentrate on setting up a his home after marriage). After innumerable pleads and requests he gave me some work. It was something I had never done before. He very well knew that it was one of the area that I struggle with the most. Gave me the minimum possible time frame. I really worked hard and completed the task. He while reviewing found a tiniest of mistake and stopped me from doing any further work. My mistake was another "proof" that I was not interested in doing any work. This happened many times. Each time the task was a new one for me. Completly different from the previous one and more complex. Each time I did my best but was not "perfect" and hence was not eligible to work with him. Now I am without any work, cannot do a job (working for someone else is a sin). Since there was so much chaos and drama and conflicts happening, I just completely stopped asking him for work and concentrated on home,his food, being there for him whenever he needs me. Now the rants are "You just sit at home and do nothing. You got married to me just because you wanted your house and freedom with no responsibilities. This comment of his just kills me inside. After reading about BPD I just try to ignore or remove myself from the situation.

If I ask for work he will not give. If I somehow convince him , he will give the me and find the minutest mistake and label it as failure.
(I am very tensed and nervous when I do his work because of the fear of triggering a conflict.). I can't go for a job or do anything independently as doing so will "prove" that I am a big "selfish" person and does not give a damn for him or his work. (This is how he thinks)
 If I avoid working , he will keep on ranting that I don't want to do anything except rest.

He blocks all my options and then say i just sit idle ? How do I handle this?

(PS: Just wanted to mention that I worked for many multi National companies for almost 16 years before marriage.Had a great career for myself which I gave up to be with him )

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