Hi

[Depression = 72% of members]

So l'm a 56 y/o M married for 33 years and with a wife whose behaviour had always baffled me until I read about BPD. She has had some stressful events recently and when this happens the BPD goes into overdrive and I get the brunt. She is a kind, loving person one minute and then a complete Jeckyll and Hyde moment has her calling me everything you could possibly imagine. Tonight she said living with me made her feel like the dirt in the bottom of a spit jar and she wished she killed herself when she met me. 5 mins later we're chatting and eating dinner. She virtually never apologises. This is very hard to live with and becoming worse.

[bpdhusbanduk]

So l'm a 56 y/o M married for 33 years and with a wife whose behaviour had always baffled me until I read about BPD. She has had some stressful events recently and when this happens the BPD goes into overdrive and I get the brunt. She is a kind, loving person one minute and then a complete Jeckyll and Hyde moment has her calling me everything you could possibly imagine. Tonight she said living with me made her feel like the dirt in the bottom of a spit jar and she wished she killed herself when she met me. 5 mins later we're chatting and eating dinner. She virtually never apologises. This is very hard to live with and becoming worse.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi BPDhusbanduk,

I'm sorry that your wife says such mean things to you. LIving with someone with BPD is a roller coaster ride. You never know if it's going to be up or down. I hope you can find some hope and support here.

There are a lot of great workshops on the right side of the page to get your started. You can learn more about the dynamics of a relationship with a pwBPD, how to communicate better, and how to better take care of yourself.

[Coconut2017]

Sorry about your pain. The push/pull behaviour living with BPD person is just one of those things that we need to understand and learn to live with managing it as much as possible that it does not affect our own self esteem. There quite few lessons on this board on how to, which is extremely helpful.

On a positive note (in my eyes it's a positive), your wife's insulting language from what I can see does not last very long if she manages to get back to normal in 5min. It takes days or sometimes weeks for my H to regulate his emotions.