Hi J9997,
I'd like to welcome you to bpdfamily, I'm sorry that you're going thought this, I completely understand how that feels when you inexplicably become the most hated person in your partners views.
Black and white thinkers usually points to a mental illness but their not all pwBPD, they can split people white or good but BPD splitting is a defense mechanism that protects their ego.
You probably already know that intimacy triggered the disorder, the closer that you are to a pwBPD the more that they act out. All pwBPD are different people with different traits and severity of the disorder, results vary with all of our members, it could be weeks, months, years and sometimes decades.
If you want to know my experience with my exuBPDw, the worst split was three years, what didn't help was fighting back and triggerering shame.
We can't control how long we'll be split for, neither does a pwBPD, we only have control over two things, our thoughts and feelings. I sugggest to weather the storm, what our pwBPD are going through is not personal to us, it's something that they're going through, in this case the disorder is protecting her ego from anxiety and stress, don't try to add it, seek support and talk about it.
