New Diagnosis for Spouse

[want2help4her]

My wife was recently diagnosed with BPD, she has several medical issues... .has for several years (Depression,  PTSD from abuse (sexual and physical as a child) , etc)  I'm really trying to understand BPD disorder and how I can change my thinking/response to help her.

She is in counseling on her own... and we've started Counseling with another counselor together as well... .I believe she really is committed to learning new behaviors and thinking in a different way.   It's been a long hard road... .and honestly I'm very tired.  I've felt like the punching bag in the relationship for several years... .and honestly the diagnosis... at least to me... brought some understanding of her thinking.

I guess I'm looking for advice.  I've been walking on eggshells for years... and I'm not sure how to change that.  I know that I do want to change that in a healthy way--to help her and to ensure my own values are stood up for.

Any advice is appreciated and welcome.   I was so happy to find an online community dedicated to helping those supporting people with BPD.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Auspicious]

 

Welcome!  Your description of her sounds like my wife in many ways.

It's good that she has a diagnosis now. It's'a good first step! Just remember that this alone doesn't fix things.

What kind of counseling is she in?

Don't blame you for being tired. Don't mean to scare you by telling you that I am still tired, years after the diagnosis ... .but I also still have hope, and some things are better. Mostly I need to keep re-learning that the only person I can change is me. Look at the links over to the right - the lessons, the skills. Spend some time with them. They do help!