Hi snazzy4razzy
Welcome to bpdfamily. There is no rule against anyone joining these forums. Although this is a community for people who have dealt/are dealing with relationships to persons/people with BPD (pwBPD), you nonetheless will find loads of resources to improve yourself significantly. Just know that you might find many frustrated and hurt people on here, but understand that you're nonetheless welcome on board. ^^
I personally have to recommend you on your courage to try to find solutions to what you believe you got. It takes a lot for many people just to reach out. While I sure am not a med. nor a psychologist, I want you to know that recognizing something isn't quite right takes a lot of self awareness, this as a first step and reaching out in a second step is what many people sadly miss out on. So I think you're on the right road. Kudos to you.
As mentioned, I am not a therapist (T), and have no knowledge about how to conquer BPD in a professional way, but I strongly believe there is no medication against BPD itself. BPD is known as a spectrum disorder which can involve many different other areas for which certainly may or may not exist medications.
I however, would suggest to search for professional help, a good T, if you have the resources that is, which is a surefire to help you tremendously to recover faster (than without T). BPD as is, certainly is a cureable emotional disorder. I wish you good luck on whatever parth you chose to take...
On a personal note and to reply to some subjects raised in your post, you seem to have a loving hubby around. Have you informed anyone of your findings? ... I think involving the people close to you may be cabable to deal, and / or assist you with dealing in outburst situations.
... .I do realize when I'm over-reacting or snapping, ... .my brain acts differently than I want it to. ... .
For example you may negotiate a sign with hubby to warn you if he senses an outburst, to notify/warn you in certain events, given enough self control of course, maybe it could be an aid to surpress the trigger.
Also I'd like to point out that you mentioned that you have undiagnosed BPD (uBPD), I'd be careful with that, there could be many other things involved (ie. depression). Hence another reason, why seeking out an experienced professional may help you the most.
To answer your question, there is no overkill kind of meditation, as far as I know. But you may find several helpful tools such as "mindfulness" that surely may be of help.
Have you checked out the tools section to the right? ---->
Anyways good luck on the road ahead, it is steep and rocky, but keep going and find your missing self.
Gumiho
