She just won't let go

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi Everybody

My ex is back .

After almost 7 months without a sound from her. She suddenly starts to "come alive" 

Startede with some of my co workers told me she had been on my (old) work, and they had talked with her. She had approached them, and startede a conversation. Telling about her ex and that she had filed a police charged against her. What she didn't know was that they are my friends. When she found out that they knew me she would clam up and walk away.

So this weekend I volunteer in a Pride event, and therefor in the medias. She shows up to the parade and choose to stand 4m from me. I just small talked to her friend about bying some flags and wishd them a happy pride, and walked on. They left the area, and came back shortly after, again standing right next to where i was working.

Then later in the parade they was standing in the front row to se the caravan. Typically the caravan stopped at the same moment i was right in front of them Pretty awkward! Later my girlfriend told me she saw them go down to the finishing area, where she knew I was. Luckily I left the area pretty fast, since I kinda knew she would "stalk" me.

I really dont understand why she keep doing that kinda things. Again she lives almost 300 km from my town, and she knew I would be there. Why come down on a visit that weekend of all?

I'm ok and are in a new healthy relationship, but I just don't understand why she will do such things?
She filed a police report on me for stalking, because I wouldn't answer her txt, and blocked her. The case of course got dismissed since there was no evidens to proof her accusations. But can't she se that what she's doing is counter productive, pathetic and kinda disturbed thing to do?

Let's hope she'll not gonna go on a new "round" with strange behavior. My new girlfriend are so calm and cool. She just shook her head and said: That's just insane;-)

Will she never move on and get some help?

[Cosuffer]

Hi Everybody

My ex is back .

After almost 7 months without a sound from her. She suddenly starts to "come alive" 

Startede with some of my co workers told me she had been on my (old) work, and they had talked with her. She had approached them, and startede a conversation. Telling about her ex and that she had filed a police charged against her. What she didn't know was that they are my friends. When she found out that they knew me she would clam up and walk away.

So this weekend I volunteer in a Pride event, and therefor in the medias. She shows up to the parade and choose to stand 4m from me. I just small talked to her friend about bying some flags and wishd them a happy pride, and walked on. They left the area, and came back shortly after, again standing right next to where i was working.

Then later in the parade they was standing in the front row to se the caravan. Typically the caravan stopped at the same moment i was right in front of them Pretty awkward! Later my girlfriend told me she saw them go down to the finishing area, where she knew I was. Luckily I left the area pretty fast, since I kinda knew she would "stalk" me.

I really dont understand why she keep doing that kinda things. Again she lives almost 300 km from my town, and she knew I would be there. Why come down on a visit that weekend of all?

I'm ok and are in a new healthy relationship, but I just don't understand why she will do such things?
She filed a police report on me for stalking, because I wouldn't answer her txt, and blocked her. The case of course got dismissed since there was no evidens to proof her accusations. But can't she se that what she's doing is counter productive, pathetic and kinda disturbed thing to do?

Let's hope she'll not gonna go on a new "round" with strange behavior. My new girlfriend are so calm and cool. She just shook her head and said: That's just insane;-)

Will she never move on and get some help?

[heartandwhole]

Hi Cosuffer,

Will she never move on and get some help?

I don't think anyone can answer that question. I would guess that when she has a new romantic interest, things will change and she will probably leave you alone.

How do/did you feel about the situation over the weekend?

heartandwhole

[Cosuffer]

  Heart and whole.

thanks for your reply. I'm doing good. Just a bitt surprised that she still puts energy into this! Right now I'm waiting for my girlfriend to come over for dinner. I wrote the post here, so people can se the BPD/PTSD suffers sometimes linger on to things long after one should think they had moved on. I read something about it, but since its been such a long time since I had heard anything I thought, she too, had found other things to spend her time/energy on. Guess I was wrong:-)

Now that I'm in a new relationship I really can se how unhealthy my former relationship was. So I'm happy and glad to have met someone whom is mature and adult about being in a relationship. We can talk about things and you'r differences without her feeling attacked. We don't rush into things, and we dated over 2 months before even taking about being exclusive. So yes I'm happy and have moved on.

  

[heartandwhole]

Hi Cosuffer   

Now that I'm in a new relationship I really can se how unhealthy my former relationship was. So I'm happy and glad to have met someone whom is mature and adult about being in a relationship. We can talk about things and you'r differences without her feeling attacked. We don't rush into things, and we dated over 2 months before even taking about being exclusive. So yes I'm happy and have moved on.

I'm very happy for you. It sounds like you've learned a lot, and are in a healthier relationship. Every now and then, pwBPD contacts me. Sometimes saying very unexpected things   after 5 years of basically no contact, and him getting married.

My point is that from time to time, I think we may come into our former partners' minds. In your shoes, I'd be very surprised at the energy she put in to getting close to you. I think that will pass, as her feelings change. Let us know!

heartandwhole

[lovenature]

Will she never move on and get some help?

PWBPD go from one attachment to another, if conditions are right you may go years without hearing from them. Sadly most don't get the help they need; BPD is a disorder that exists to deny itself.
Just don't ever reply to any contact attempts and that shows her that an attachment doesn't exist.