Update She's in therapy what should I expect?

[montenell]

So the wife is now seeing a therapist and I have been redirecting a lot of her efforts to draw me in to the therapist. Just curious as what to expect during this time. Now that I have been putting my foot down I'm being told " I feel bullied", " I don't like this new you", "you make me feel like you don't want to be in a relationship with me".  At a point where I am completely unfazed by these attempts. I guess I have become a "gray rock".! It's funny the therapist is giving her the same advice that I've been giving for years but I feel like the load has been lightened. One minute she's saying she needs some space and for me to "pull back" the next minute I'm not making enough effort SMH. For those of you who have been thru this part of it what has typically been your experience once they attemp to get help?

[Torched]

My ex wife wouldn't share anything at all with me concerning therapy.  Not a thing.  I did not pressure her.  She was put on SSRI medication, and quit therapy after a couple of months.  She stopped much of her BPD behavior as she was smart enough at that point to know that I was finished if she so much as fell off the wagon.  She was a very intelligent person and knew what the real issues were.  I felt bad about her feeling like the other shoe was going to drop any time, but she did a good job of just eating it every time she was in a situation where she was going to behave as a BPD would react.  The problem was that without being herself (BPD-like), there was just nothing left.  There was nothing to her.  She was not comfortable just being her.  That's when she started drinking a half bottle or more of wine every day after work.  She didn't have any of the BPD over-the-top tendencies toward dangerous behaviors until then.  I think I kept her from it up until that point by being Mr. Helpful and eating crap sandwiches.  Me eating her crap sandwiches kept her... .satisfied if that makes sense.

Her therapist tried to get me to join them early on.  I went in and enlightened the therapist, who pretty much gave me a pass and moved on.  I am not certain if she was officially diagnosed or treated as BPD.  Either way, I'm guessing therapy won't last long and you won't get anything from her about it.