BPD killing me

[Bert]

Hi,I have a daughter with BPD she is now 18 she has been diabolical in her behaviour since 4 or 5, her mum passed away when she was 6 and I have been looking after her by myself since then, I have gone through years of not behaving at school to self harming to not going to school and her stealing, now potand booze are in control and her stealing is rampant with no remorse and always someone else fault, I want to run!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi there Bert

Hi there and welcome to the Parenting forum.

I know that feeling of wanting to run! Sometimes I'd get a bit ahead of myself and start concocting a plan of a one way ticket somewhere. It used to be my little joke in the middle of the latest drama and I'd say to myself "in three hours I could be in ... .". I never took the thought to what I'd actually do when I got there though I did wonder how long it would take before anybody noticed! Lord knows how difficult it is to find any humour at all in some of the situations we face. .

I'm so very sorry to hear about both your daughter who is clearly struggling and also the loss of your wife. That situation must have been incredibly difficult for you and you obviously love your daughter very much. Doing our very best is just exhausting.

So your daughter is smoking pot and drinking. My DS doesn't drink but I understand the pain of the drug abuse and the very real concern. The stealing comes in that territory and just isn't on...

Does your daughter still live with you at home, is she able to work or go to college?

You've mentioned a long history of behaviour problems, have you done any reading up on BPD?

Hugs to you

Lp