I am working through the completion of a relationship with BPD.

[Yosh6]

Hello everyone. I am new here today. I am journeying through my shift in my relationship with someone with BPD characteristics. As I recently would work through the possible ways to shift the relationship into a "healthier" place, I kept coming back to the fact that,nothing will make it healthy". Nothing healthy while we are both still connected. I believe it Is true that Complete cut off is the the only option. Forget about any type of healthy closure. It's like, the ship is sinking all the time and no matter what you do or say ever, you cannot ever save the both of you. Jump into the life boat Now! You must / I must save myself.  It is the only way out. It is not comfortable but it Must be me and I must leave and never turn back. It is like addiction. It will never improve. You will Never get that first "high" that you may be continually seeking with this person. I am working on me and I know it is My stuff and My journey. I don't bash myself anymore. To Thine Own Self Be True"(Polonius in Hamlet).
 

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Yosh6, Welcome!  How did you figure out that your SO has BPD?  You seem to have a lot of knowledge about BPD as well as self-awareness, which can only help in this transition.  Have you parted ways with your pwBPD?  How long were you in a r/s?  Fill us in, when you can.

LuckyJim

[Mutt]

Hi Yosh6,



I'd like to join Lucky Jim and welcome you to bpdfamily.

What brought you here?

[Yosh6]

Thank you Lucky Jim and Mutt. Your kind welcomes warm me. It's a journey leaving as are all of our life choices. I believe that each choice we create in every single second manifests results, of course. Observing ourselves in how we do this is key. And, yes, self evaluation, truth to oneself, forgiveness of our own transgressions and  mistakes towards our selves and mistakes of others allows us the opportunity to create new and healthy possibilities; lives.

Oh, What brought me here was the desire to understand and to heal. I search for answers and yes, I am always working on myself and I am open to many types of transformation works, as I do whatever I must to move forward and to work through my pain as soon as it comes.
Grateful. :D

[Yosh6]

Is it typical for Narc-BPD to actually start dating my sister right away or at all to hurt me?
I have a feeling about this. Kills me.

[Mutt]

Hi Yosh6,

That would kill me too if it was my sister. It sounds like it was a coincidence. What BPD/NPD traits to do you see in your sisters bf? What's the back story?

[Harley Quinn]

That is very painful indeed.  How is your r/s with your sister?  Can you tell her how you feel?  Give us a bit more info about when and how this came about.  Do you think circumstances indicate the possibility that this was already lined up so to speak? 

It can be quite common for a pwBPD to have someone else soon after, or sometimes during, the r/s, as the fear of abandonment can mean that they feel more secure by having another partner to move on to.  If your ex noticed the small shift inside you whereby you began to internally let go of trying to save the r/s, (as a pwBPD is extremely perceptive to emotional cues), it may be that he began to think about self preservation.     

Love and light x