Hi truthbeknown,
Happy Chanukah. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries the first year without our exes can make you feel sad and lonely. I know that it probably doesn’t help you right now but after you pass through all of the holidays it gets better. You had the right idea, come here write it down and share with us. It helps to talk.
But right now i'm just sad that she had to deamonize me to move on instead of just saying "he moved away so we couldn't be in a relationship together".
I know that it’s heartbreaking when someone that you cared deeply about demonizes you in the end. A pwBPD split people black that they care the most about.
Many of us here have had to give ourselves closure. We become a source of pain for our exes because it’s a reminder of the dysfunctional r/s and of all the failed r/s’. It’s too hard for a pwBPD to bare so they turn to dysfunctional coping mechanisms. Dysfunctional coping mechanisms may give your ex temporary relief but it becomes uninhibited grief, the grief that she can’t process will manifest itself through anger and acting out.
There is wisdom with the Aunt’s family, family is usually loyal, they live her unconditionally but some members of the family may of accepted the fact that she is who she is. Maybe they’ve come to terms with letting of trying to change someone and accepting them for who they are.
