I am severely codependent

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I lost myself over the years - I haven't had a hobby in a long time.  I need to focus on me.

I know how all-consuming it is to run one's own business. And yes, between that and dealing with your partner, and being a mom, you've been externally focused. Now is a great time to rebalance that.

If you don't spend as much time with him, think of ways you can utilize that time for you. So you haven't had a hobby for years, what would you enjoy doing? No commitments, just imagine giving your inner child some playtime. You certainly deserve it. And need it.

So if you were to make a list, again, no commitments, how about listing ten things you would find enjoyable?

[Cat Familiar]

I lost myself over the years - I haven't had a hobby in a long time.  I need to focus on me.

I know how all-consuming it is to run one's own business. And yes, between that and dealing with your partner, and being a mom, you've been externally focused. Now is a great time to rebalance that.

If you don't spend as much time with him, think of ways you can utilize that time for you. So you haven't had a hobby for years, what would you enjoy doing? No commitments, just imagine giving your inner child some playtime. You certainly deserve it. And need it.

So if you were to make a list, again, no commitments, how about listing ten things you would find enjoyable?

[coworkerfriend]

I have always been somewhat of a workaholic.  Before I owned a business, it was an easy way to distract myself and since I have been the owner of the business, there are always a million things to do.  Especially with my partner refusing to work.

Thanks for the list idea - it's a great way to start:

Exercise
Take more walks outside
Read
Spend time outside in the spring - gardening maybe
Travel more - maybe weekend trips with my kids
Explore around my city - go to restaurants, museums

I am a bit stumped to think of more things - partly because I am just so worn out.  Thanks again Cat - it's good food for thought.

[Cat Familiar]

I totally get how much time it takes to run a business. How about choosing one item from your list everyday and give yourself a half hour to do it? You can manage a half hour to do a few exercises, and you might also think about doing breathing exercises to help you relax. You can even do breathing exercises while you work!

You do need to eat, so how about finding a new restaurant you've heard about and checking it out?

And if you walk outdoors, you can problem-solve at the same time.

I'm not suggesting you multitask with all these items on your list, but if you really feel in a time crunch with your work, there's ways to do both. I urge you to try this, just to upset your apple cart and start very gradually making changes to better your physical and emotional health. We all know how stressful it is to deal day to day with a pwBPD. Now is a good time to change some habits in a positive direction so that you'll have greater resilience for all that you do.