Wife With BPD Symptoms, Cut Off From My Mother And Daughter

[Jpog22]

Hi, I need help!
My wife shows symptoms of  BPD. I can never do her right. In the past she and my family had a falling out (my mother, my daughter from a previous marriage). At the request of our counselor, I was to have a hiatus from them, which I did. Here we are three years later, I have not spoken to my daughter who is now 20. And have had limited contact with my mother. My wife still complains about the previous events like they happened last month. We will watch a tv show and something will trigger her to start a fight. I always have to make the change on the love I show her,but she never wants to accept the changes I ask of her.

Help me survive this!

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

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[Turkish]

The counselor (one for couples?) had you cut off relationships with your mother and daughter to please your wife? What kinds of conflict went on been them and her? It doesn't seem like it made your marriage better,  or did it for a time?

[RolandOfEld]

Hi Jpog22 and welcome. In terms of help you've come to the right place.

My wife's BPD behaviors wreaked chaos on my relationships with my FOO (family of origin) that I'm now trying to fix. I lost the last six months I had with my grandmother to them.   

Please do explain more about this hiatus, which sounds like a very unusual thing for a therapist to request. If it began when your daughter was 17, that's separating you from her when she is still essentially a child. How long was the proposed hiatus originally set to be for? What do your mother and daughter think of this situation? 

~ROE