haven't spoken to ex with BPD in 8 months & she is still trying to ruin my life

[sadboi]

hi friends,

when my relationship first ended, I posted on here a lot and it was so helpful. In the past 8 months, I have done a lot of reflecting and growth, and I have come to terms with how abused I was throughout my relationship, and realized that it's ending was such a good thing for me.

I am at the same university as my ex, we haven't had contact in 8 months besides 1 email from me asking for my stuff back that she said she'd send. I actively avoid her, the last time we past each other, I had an anxiety attack and had to go to drop-in crisis counseling; I am so traumatized by her.

After 8 months, out of nowhere, she has gone to our university and filed Sexual Harassment against me. I have a lawyer, and a meeting in a couple of days- everything is in my favor because she has no evidence because it's just not true.

What I am worried about is that when the school doesn't rule in her favor, she will continue to try to do things to me- in this instance I am particularly worried that she will take to social media to slander me, and say our university doesn't support its victims.

Does anyone have any experience with vengeful exes? I am considering getting a restraining order after this. If you have any advice, or similar stories, I'd love to hear.

Thank you

[Whoad]

I would definitely seek a restraining order. Understand it will get ugly, but it’s better than being smeared and accused of wrongdoings, with very nasty results.

I was subjected to some pretty heinous accusations, by a BPD female that was married and having a affairs with both  of my superiors (eewww) . I did my job one Saturday... in a custodial emergency matter and then she went after me by using her two lovers because I followed the court order... I was smeared and effectively lost my job—those relationships came out after her soon to be ex husband hired a PI and attorney and got to the bottom of all it... I’m in legal battle to take on the employer for the actions, violating my rights. 

So yes a restraining  order, is a need... not all BPD are like this... my ex was not... she has left me alone... cover your . Document document document—-and remember dates and times... and how you feel when your are near your ex... these things will demonstrate to those reading how it makes you feel and how it affects your well being... good luck...

[Gunit1]

Mine threatened retraining order when I was getting to close to finding out about cheating ect. All sudden I was abusive and harassing when asking questions even when she still sleeping with me. They are crazy

[Speck]

Hello, sadboi:

How have you been doing since the last time you shared?

We're here if you need to talk.


-Speck

[Mutt]

Hi sadboi,

I can how stressful false accusations are and the potential fallout if you’re ex doesn’t get what she wants. I would suggest to focus on your meeting in s couple of days.

What I am worried about is that when the school doesn't rule in her favor, she will continue to try to do things to me- in this instance I am particularly worried that she will take to social media to slander me, and say our university doesn't support its victims.

Id stay out of it, don’t give her attention because the least attention that you give the faster that this will go away. If she legally lost and she wants to lash out at the University then let her it’s between her and the University don’t worry about her, it’s her actions it not for you to worry about it falls on her.

[Harley Quinn]

sadboi I'm so sorry to hear about these allegations.  That's got to be hugely stressful for you.  It's no surprise you're worrying about what she might do next. 

I agree with Mutt about taking things one step at a time.  Get through this and then weigh up your options.  You have enough to think about right now.  Try to go easy on yourself every way that you can.  If there is something that can wait, let it wait.  I find that when life pressures heap on, I can be the worst at trying to keep all the plates spinning and leave myself totally worn out.  You're not going to be your best if you're fried emotionally and physically, so rest all you can and focus on what is happening now. 

Let us know how things are going.  We're here