My ex girlfriend has 'functional' BPD and we're close to being back together.

[thil]

I've been with someone who has BPD. She has been in various forms of therapy and has started again about a year ago.

We've broken up about a year ago (her decision) but she moved back in after a couple of months because she had problems with her new landlord. We've been living together as friends, mostly getting a bit closer again but still having her typical outbursts and blame game episodes.

When we got together she was actually accepting the fact she had BPD, but gradually as her life situation improved she began doubting it again. She said she was convinced she was overly sensitive instead. I hope her newest therapist finally is the one to convince her otherwise but obviously I don't actually know what's been said there.

I see a therapist myself once a month to cope with her and try to understand her more, but I can use more help from people with experience. Specially since we are close to becoming a couple again ... .I would be more confident if she was back at a state of acceptance of her BPD, but I have no idea on how to achieve that.

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[pearlsw]

Hi thil,

We're here for you! 

I think it is pretty common that people have a hard time with this kind of diagnosis. If she sees herself as “emotionally sensitive” but is still willing to deal with it somehow would that be enough? Are you expecting that “accepting a diagnosis” will translate into her doing something you want/need her to about the issues?

with compassion, pearl.

[Mutt]

Hi thil,



I’d like to join pearlsw and welcome you to the family. I don’t think that stopping taking care of yourself is synonymous with BPD. For example when I was treated with depression I saw my GP, then a P and a social worker concurrently, the social worker was responsible for CBT lifestyle changes he ordered me to be excersise which I still do to keep my depression and anxiety under control three years later. He warned me to not stop when I start feeling better. She must be making progress with this T.