I am at a tipping point and I don't know what to do

[Depression = 72% of members]

 :help: I don't know what to do.

I feel that my wife has undiagnosed BPD and dealing with it for many years. I have known my wife for 10+ years but have only been married 6 but I feel that I can not go on unless something changes. I am completely against divorce but I honestly feel that I am getting to that point.

My wife was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in while we were both in the military and for a while she was going to therapy which was helping. Unfortunately since we got out of the military 6 years ago she has stopped therapy and the meds that she was on. She stopped therapy because money was tight and she thought she had a handle on things, she stopped the meds shortly after the military because of the way they made her feel and I kinda agree that she should have stopped because her moods were all over the place.

Fast forward 6 years and we are living in a tight living conditions, she still has not started therapy but knows that she should, and I feel that I am at a breaking point. I feel real bad to be very honest. I love her, I really do but I think I forgot why. I feel so battered and beaten mentally and emotionally. All I want to do is help her but she pushes me away at every chance she gets but claims that I am distant.

Can someone please give me advice on what I should do for the best of both my wife and myself? I love my wife and just don't know what to do anymore.

[BPD’sSpouse87]

 :help: I don't know what to do.

I feel that my wife has undiagnosed BPD and dealing with it for many years. I have known my wife for 10+ years but have only been married 6 but I feel that I can not go on unless something changes. I am completely against divorce but I honestly feel that I am getting to that point.

My wife was diagnosed with anxiety and depression in while we were both in the military and for a while she was going to therapy which was helping. Unfortunately since we got out of the military 6 years ago she has stopped therapy and the meds that she was on. She stopped therapy because money was tight and she thought she had a handle on things, she stopped the meds shortly after the military because of the way they made her feel and I kinda agree that she should have stopped because her moods were all over the place.

Fast forward 6 years and we are living in a tight living conditions, she still has not started therapy but knows that she should, and I feel that I am at a breaking point. I feel real bad to be very honest. I love her, I really do but I think I forgot why. I feel so battered and beaten mentally and emotionally. All I want to do is help her but she pushes me away at every chance she gets but claims that I am distant.

Can someone please give me advice on what I should do for the best of both my wife and myself? I love my wife and just don't know what to do anymore.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[RolandOfEld]

Hi BPDSpouse87 and welcome! So glad you found us here. This is a community of people with the same experiences who will be more than happy to share our insights with you. You will definitely find the answers you need to guide you through this difficult time.

I strongly suggest you have a look at some of the skills workshops here as well as post on other members' threads to gain context on your own.

Could you start by walking us through some of your wife's behaviors that you would classify as BPD?

Sending you strength,
RolandOfEld