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After NC suddenly a msg
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Topic: After NC suddenly a msg (Read 410 times)
conflicted55
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 61
After NC suddenly a msg
«
on:
November 15, 2018, 01:12:15 AM »
After a no of weeks of breakup initiated by SOwuBPD and no contact except me ringing to say not in the area and not sure when back so don't allow parent to dump my stuff at my house as had been threatened by parent (enmeshed mother).
The msg requests a convenient time and location to return my stuff. It then threatens if not heard from me by a certain day they will dump the stuff outside my house. (When previously on phone with me said this would not happen as stuff could go missing.)
Then the msg finishes with... ."I see no reason to not return your stuff to you."
I am currently suffering with ill health, caused by the stress of the breakup I suspect. It feels like I am having a breakdown ... .physically and mentally. And mentally am just holding on. Withdrawal symptoms from the drug of the BPD I am sure. I do not feel strong enough to see her. It is too soon. There is not much stuff so why cant she hold onto it for a few more weeks. I suspect the ex who she has been cheating with and has now been recycled is calling the shots as the ex did this last year. The ex seems to be very controlling and narcisstic. Wants me out of the picture pronto.
My question is: the last sentence of the msg "I see no reason to not return your stuff to you." It seems an odd thing to say. Is it me or is it bait?
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Re: After NC suddenly a msg
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Reply #1 on:
November 15, 2018, 01:38:16 AM »
its hard to say.
i engaged with my ex for a few months trying to exchange our belongings. some of it, i would have thought, shed legitimately want to have back. a lot of things i legitimately wanted to have back.
mostly, it was to me, about trying to force closure on my terms.
she could dispose of the belongings if she wanted to. this is probably about trying to force closure on her terms.
it sounds like youre hurting and would prefer that the exchange not happen yet, do i have that right?
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conflicted55
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Posts: 61
Re: After NC suddenly a msg
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Reply #2 on:
November 15, 2018, 02:06:12 AM »
Once removed< I am being strong in that I don't want contact, which is new for me. So I guess that is the
hurt self
in protection mode. I feel that the SOwuBPD or should I say the xSOwuBPD has had many months if not a year to exit the relationship while I have just been dumped without any closure. So I feel stuck with just ruminations as to the why, the who and the when. As my health is in breakdown mode I am not strong enough to deal with anymore stress at the moment.
Part of me wants to say "you see no reason because you are in your world , cant put yourself in my shoes. Where as I am stuck here with no closure which is impacting on my health. And I need a few weeks before I can deal with this. Please show some compassion." The other part does not want her to know I am struggling.
I am pissed off with her for not giving me closure. (She is mirroring the ex whose personality narcisstic and very controlling.)
I cant see why she had to add that last sentence to the msg. Just seems contradictory.
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Re: After NC suddenly a msg
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Reply #3 on:
November 15, 2018, 02:11:12 AM »
Quote from: conflicted55 on November 15, 2018, 02:06:12 AM
The other part does not want her to know I am struggling.
i can certainly appreciate that. ive worn my heart on my sleeve a lot in the aftermath of relationships and often regretted it.
what are the belongings... .do you want them back?
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conflicted55
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Posts: 61
Re: After NC suddenly a msg
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Reply #4 on:
November 15, 2018, 02:31:12 AM »
A few items of clothing, a couple of tools, some leisure stuff and a large mechanical tool. Yes I want them back but there is no hurry. I have some of her stuff that I do not want. There is monies to be sorted too.
It is too early for me to do this. That is not because I dont want to move on. Its because I know I am not strong enough yet.
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Re: After NC suddenly a msg
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Reply #5 on:
November 15, 2018, 07:37:44 PM »
conflicted55, it sounds like if given no other choice, shes going to dump the stuff. is there a more convenient, less painful way you can think of?
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