Adult Child needs help

[Dumptruck]

  I'm new to this group. I have only recently admitted to myself that what my therapist, our family therapist, the ER doctors and countless others have told me is true. My adult child has BPD. I am her target of choice. I trigger her. We can not have a 5 minute conversation that doesn't end with her exploding. I can say "the sky is blue" and she will 'hear' ... "I don't love you because I like the color blue and your eyes are brown" I want to learn how to NOT trigger her.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi Dumptruck and Welcome to BPD Family!

Although I'm very sorry you had to find us, I'm glad you are here. You have come to the right place for support and to learn new ways to communicate with your daughter.

Like you, I rejected my DD25's diagnosis from the start. All I'd read on the internet was doom and gloom, no hope. I want you to know, there is hope.

You say you are her target, you want to learn how to not trigger her, and I encourage you to read all you can about BPD. Many of us come here looking for answers and with the help of other members, we are learning together.

A good place to start here is a post that is pinned to the top of this board, here's a link:

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF THIS SITE

It's got some of our best articles, though we have many more.

What are the behaviors that you find most challenging with your daughter? Is she living with you? What led to the diagnosis?

Sorry for all the questions - it helps to get an idea of what you're struggling with, so we know how to advise you.

I hope that you settle in here and become part of the family, we are here for you.

Again, welcome!

~ OH