I am starting to separate from my BPD wife

[Depression = 72% of members]

After so many years of feeling put down and insulted.  She says that I'm weak and can't take criticism, but I know (truly know) that the words and anger I am dealing with is demoralizing.

But there are still some times I feel delusional.   Thankfully the friends that she tried to alienate from me (3 of my 20 year+ friends) are still there for me.   I love them!

Any words of advise as we start separating?

[cdeon]

After so many years of feeling put down and insulted.  She says that I'm weak and can't take criticism, but I know (truly know) that the words and anger I am dealing with is demoralizing.

But there are still some times I feel delusional.   Thankfully the friends that she tried to alienate from me (3 of my 20 year+ friends) are still there for me.   I love them!

Any words of advise as we start separating?

[Ozzie101]

Hello cdeon and welcome! I'm sorry for the circumstances that brought you here, but I'm glad you found us. And I'm so glad you were able to maintain your friendships! A support system is so important and pwBPD do have a tendency to alienate their loved ones from friends and family.

I hope you won't mind if I ask a couple of questions for clarification. Have you and your wife agreed to an official separation? Or is a more informal pulling back on your part?

[Lucky Jim]

Hey cdeon, Welcome!  A lot of us have been in your shoes, so you are not alone.  You're lucky to have longterm friends, standing by you, so reach out to them as needed.  Sure it's demoralizing to be insulted and put-down, so give yourself a break.  You don't need that type of negative energy in your life.  Fill us in when you can and let us know if you have any particular questions.

LuckyJim