... I texted him to ask why he had moved and he told me he hated everything, including me. This is so crazy. I didn't do anything. Is this how he always feels about me?
… He will go away for four days, and come home as though there is nothing wrong or his reaction to his ticket justifiable. If he were two, maybe, but not at 60.
Hello loyalwife,
Very sorry you are in the midst (mist) yet again… I can certainly relate.
What do we always read, and hear; here… pw/BPD… "feelings equal facts"… if the pw/BPD is miserable, then everyone else in the closest vicinity must also be miserable (sympathetically), the word I used there, "sympathetically"… is used in the context of handling explosives, (my former career)… sometimes, a small explosion is used to set off a larger one sympathetically, in order to accomplish a task, say "bridge removal"… or "clearing" a landing zone (LZ) for helicopters… a silly analogy maybe.
A pw/BPD will be internally disintegrating; dysregulating, as in they are unable to process what ever they are feeling, "triggers"… so in order to come to a point of "process"… they must "clear that LZ"… by whatever means is at hand… so if we, the "Non" happen to be in the LZ when the charges are set off, then that's too bad (sad face emoji)… seems the intent is to create unilateral misery, to any and all in close proximity, so that the pw/BPD can make their maladaptive attempt to process… this is crazy making.
They seem to actually believe, (feelings are facts)… that if they "blow up", then we, the Non will "sympathetically" blow up as well, to fall in line, "there, now everybody's mad!"… the pw/BPD will "awfulize"… project, and act out… in an attempt to sympathetically set us off too… thus creating the unilateral explosion that will result in their feelings equaling facts coming to fruition… Voilà !… "I'm miserable, I'm a terrible person, I'm a victim"… etc etc'… "and now you (us the Non) are now confirming this feeling/fact to me" (pw/BPD)… "I hate you don't leave me"… "get away from me" (sleep on the concrete floor), etc etc'
Justification of', "self validation" of suspect heinous acts committed, and behaviors is a huge thing to pw/BPD… and there will never be any semblance of reasoning with them here; when they are in this modus operandi… sadly, at either age fifty two, or sixty…
Sometimes the tools work, sometimes they don't… sometimes when the switch is "hot", best to just take cover… (boom)… and try to make the best of it when its all over… its tough, we all know
At least you have four days to have a respite.
… hang in there loyalwife, keep posting…
Kind Regards, Red5