Hi MamaJ and welcome to the board. I am glad you are reaching out for support but sorry for what brings you here. It is so difficult and incredibly painful when a loved one had BPD or BPD traits and refuses to get help or even see there is a problem.
We have lots of parent who are in similar situations who post here and I am sure they will be along shortly to say hello and welcome you.
We do have a lot of articles that you might find helpful. It is hard to make specific recommendations at this point as I do not know enough of your story. I hope as you read more, you settle in and post and jump into other threads. Having a support system is important and like I said, we get it here.
For now I am going to direct you to a thread with several links that you can look through and read:
How to get the most out of this siteAgain,