Still Struggling

[MamaJ]

I believe my adult daughter would be diagnosed with BPD if she would ever stay in a therapists office long enough to get a diagnoses. This past week her husband decided to leave after seeking help for himself. Needless to say, that event triggered enormous drama for all. We had a middle of the night suicide threat followed by a middle of the day suicide threat and missing person search only to be met with "law enforcement has confirmed that she is not suicidal, her goal was only to cause harm to her departing spouse" and, once again, no mandatory help.
We have been trying to cope with this as a family for almost two decades now. I have slowly been learning to care for myself and to deal with the blame and the judgement that lands on parents, sometimes even from the mental health professional community.
To date, my child is very intelligent, very high functioning and very insistent that everyone else in the world has the problem (except her). I am wondering if other parents or family members have found a way to explore the idea that perhaps professional help is needed during a time of crisis like this?  As I write my question, I chuckle a bit, with tears in my eyes, that I am still trying to get my child to want to fix herself when I know that truly the only person I can control is myself.  I am open to ideas about how to talk to my daughter as well as ideas for how to talk to myself!   

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi MamaJ and welcome to the board.  I am glad you are reaching out for support but sorry for what brings you here.  It is so difficult and incredibly painful when a loved one had BPD or BPD traits and refuses to get help or even see there is a problem.

We have lots of parent who are in similar situations who post here and I am sure they will be along shortly to say hello and welcome you.

We do have a lot of articles that you might find helpful.  It is hard to make specific recommendations at this point as I do not know enough of your story.  I hope as you read more, you settle in and post and jump into other threads.  Having a support system is important and like I said, we get it here. 

For now I am going to direct you to a thread with several links that you can look through and read:  How to get the most out of this site

Again,