Needing support to leave.

[Depression = 72% of members]

My therapist provided guidance that my romantic partner shows traits of BPD.  I bought some books on the topic and the lightbulb suddenly went off, this is just like my life is so many ways.  While I thought about trying to advise my romantic partner to seek help, I feel like it's going to be another lose-lose scenario so I've decided to leave.  Can anyone share their experiences of leaving a BDP relationship that includes children, so I have some ideas of what I'll be up against?

[StandingUpFirm]

My therapist provided guidance that my romantic partner shows traits of BPD.  I bought some books on the topic and the lightbulb suddenly went off, this is just like my life is so many ways.  While I thought about trying to advise my romantic partner to seek help, I feel like it's going to be another lose-lose scenario so I've decided to leave.  Can anyone share their experiences of leaving a BDP relationship that includes children, so I have some ideas of what I'll be up against?

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

If you’re looking for others’ stories of ending a marriage, check out the Family Law board.

I know that you are planning to leave, but I’m going to relocate your thread to the Bettering board. There you will learn strategies that will help you communicate better with your spouse, as you will have a lot of arrangements to negotiate in the future.

[Scarlet Phoenix]

Hi StandingUpFirm,
I hear you. You want out. 
Many people here have left a relationship where children were involved. As Cat Familiar says, there's the Legal Board when you get to that point.
Meanwhile, I hope you'll find the support you want here on Bettering. We understand your focus is leaving. As long as you're under the same roof and for the years to come with co-parenting, learning the skills and tools we discuss here on Bettering will be really useful to you. They can help you lower tensions in the household and communicate about the children.

We're here for you
Warmly
Scarlet

[AskingWhy]

If you choose to leave, it's important to know that pwBPD can become enraged and project their lack of control onto you. 

If you are married or in a domestic partnership, please read Bill Eddy's, "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder."

Breaking up with a pwBPD is not a normal experience.  You can expect the love/hate aspect to rear its head.

Be strong in whatever you do. 

https://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254