Mod note: The following has been split from another discussion as it merited its own thread: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339399.0I have indeed,
Before I get into my experience though I want to address your feelings that she cheated on you. There is an old saying “If you think they are cheating on you, they probably are.” Also “if you feel that you are having to be a detective in the relationship then something is going on” Not saying they are gospel but I will tell you every time I felt “something was going on” I was right.
So...my experience with BPD bold face lies and or “gaslighting”. I know people don’t the term gaslighting but I don’t care.
I called her on a Saturday afternoon and asked to see her on Monday. We had a really good conversation and she said she would check her schedule and get back to me. She was working that day and at the end of the conversation asked that I text a picture of what I was doing that day. I’m not exactly sure why she wanted a picture. Maybe she was trying to see If I was home alone or if I was with someone. Maybe she just wanted a picture. Who knows.
A few hours later she texted me a picture of something she was doing at work. I never sent her a picture. In all honestly I was trying to pull back and create a feeling of uncertainty within her. I know, I know! Not recommended. Probably only served to increase any anxiety she might have had. But in hindsight I really don’t think it would have mattered anyway.
I didn’t hear from her the rest of the weekend so Monday night I texted “evening...”
She responded “No sunshine. You don’t get to ignore my calls all day then text me at nearly nine when I thought I was seeing you today. Maybe you got busy? All good. I’m going to bed. Have to get up at 6am. Night.
My response” I have zero missed calls from you and you said you would get back to me if you were available. You never did get back to me. Nice try though.”
Me again 5 min later “is this your way of pushing me away again so we don’t get close? Fine. Do what you gotta do”
The next morning she sent this” Not sure why I feel the need to prove myself. But...You’re right. They weren’t all yesterday . Just once yesterday and twice on Sunday. I don’t bs you. Please
Don’t bs me. And please don’t infer that I don’t tell you the truth”
She attached a picture of her IPhone call log that showed she had called my number (actually my contact name, NOT my number was in the log) . The problem? she left no messages for any of the calls she said she made and she never sent a follow up text. And...here’s the big kicker...one of the calls on Sunday was inbound the other was outbound (you can tell by the little phone with the arrow, which means outbound) and both said “home” as the number. The one on Monday was listed as “mobile”. The call I made to her on Saturday was listed as “phone”.
What she had done was go back into her address book and change the contact name of two numbers that had called her and one number she had called (two on Sunday and one on Monday) to my name and took a screen shot of the call log. It is actually very easy to do. Unfortunately for her she was too stupid to realize that the numbers were listed differently (home,mobile,phone) and two were inbound to her phone.
Now I can’t be 100% sure (i’m 99.9% sure ) that she never called. Maybe some crazy bizzaro technical glitch happened that caused all these anomalies (insert major sarcasm here) but I know for 100% that I NEVER called her at all after Saturday.
After I saw the bold faced lie and her miserable attempt to cover it up I sent this text: “it’s best if we part ways. All the best to you”
That would have been it except two days later were were paired up on a very stressful work project and we bonded again... FML
She maintained that lie until the very end. Why she did it I will never know for sure. I suspect she may have been angry that I did not send her the picture or maybe she expected me to reach out again about the plans. When she realized that I could easily prove her lie, maybe she got spun up and tried to “fix” it by forging the call log. No one likes To be caught in a bold face lie.
I think after she forged the call log and I called her out on it she convinced herself that she had called. And probably conveniently put the forged call log out of her mind. She later tried to say it was because she called from her IPad but that still does not explain it in the least bit.
Anyway...much longer than I intended but that is one of several experiences I had with her lies...
