Living with BPD in law. New to this site.

[Funsized04]

Hello this is my first post. This BP has been living with us for about 5 years, but I've known them for about 20 + years. We've recently moved to different state. A few weeks ago we got into a shouting match. I did my best to say how I felt. I tried meditatating, praying, and looking for information, books in particular. I kept looking for bipolar information but instead ran into borderline personality disorder, I found and bought the Walking on Eggshells and I saw the book I hate you, don't leave me. Just reading the descriptions I wanted to cry. There it was what I had been going through for the last 5 years or so. I felt relief. Still reading the book so grateful I found it. Thank you for your support.

[Harri]

Hi and welcome!

I'm glad you found us.  It is quite difficult living with a pwBPD (person with BPD) or even BPD traits and you are not alone in dealing with this.

What would you say is your biggest challenge right now?

I hope you share more.  the more you share, the more we can help you.  In the meantime, settle in and get comfortable and read.  We can probably relate, if not to your specific situation than to the emotions. 

Again,

[Amstine]

Hi! I can't see many people here talking about in laws much.  I lived with my BP/NPD undiagnosed of course, for a year.  They would get upset when after the first month, me and my husband wanted to stop sharing food and cook our own meals after the summer and I was working more.  They were deeply hurt by this? Lots of stories to share.  I thought I had just triggered them but now both the BP and my BIL are acting the same, so we have two BP's married and backing each other. It's super confusing and upsetting and I got tired of being berated for everything so we have gone no contact after living interstate and getting "in trouble" for any birthday presents arriving late.  First it was just bc I had chronic health issues and was tired, other times it was because the post is bad and slow here, but this was never an excuse, we needed to be told off for birthday presents for their kids arriving late. So we have stopped sending any, there are too many means insulting things said and we are too hurt and angry.  So we are re-grouping until we are ready to be able to communicate again. Here if you want to talk?  I hope you can find a way to communicate ! We had no idea what was going on when we were living together.  It was like no-one we had ever met before.

[Spindle0516]

I found and bought the Walking on Eggshells and I saw the book I hate you, don't leave me. Just reading the descriptions I wanted to cry. There it was what I had been going through for the last 5 years or so. I felt relief.

Hi! I live with my BP Mother In Law. I have been with my partner for 5 years, and she has lived with us for 3. We just got married in June and her behavior has escalated since then. She moved in with us from out on state due to increasing health needs, but in spite of her health improving, her dependence on us has increased. My husband and I recently went to a therapist about it and she suggested that my MIL might have BPD. She recommended we take a look at Walking on Eggshells, and I too cried in relief. This was about a month ago and my husband and I have been trying to figure out where to go from here. She went away visiting family for a month and it was a much needed break. I was in my apartment alone for the 1st time in 3 years because she won't ever leave!

It has also been super confusing for me as I figure out how to support my husband in this process. My MIL has a severe history of trauma- abusive parents, 2 abusive husbands- and my husband has been witness to some of it. We have loved providing a space where we know that she feels safe, but the toll it has taken has been immense. Placing new boundaries and forcing her to reclaim some independence from us is going to be really challenging and is a bit anxiety producing.

Anyway, all I really wanted to say is that I too am in a similar place on this BPD journey and it is such a comfort to know my husband and I are not the only ones. Sorry for the tangent =)