In a former post, I shared a frustrating conversation I had had with my son who didn't believe his sister has "mental illness" . He said she has never been diagnosed, she just needs to eat right and exercise. His dad agreed with this. I gave him books on BPD, referred videos to him which I believe sat unread or seen.
I have shouldered the burden of my dtrs BPD since she was little and only learning about BPD a few years ago. I went through hell with her and bore the brunt of her abuse. My son did not... until recently. He called me a week ago after being on the phone with his sister and was extremely upset. He said she was awful to him, calling names, threatening no contact, drug use, etc. He was very shaken up.
I now know from learning about BPD that my dtr was having a dysregulated experience but he didn't know that. He was truly afraid he would be responsible for her killing herself. I know this only too well, having been there many times.
Last nite he called me and we talked for an hour about his sister. He told me he now "gets it" that she isnt well and probably has bpd. He wants to know what we can do to help her. I was so relieved and happy! I told him it is so nice to be having this conversation as I have felt very alone in all this. We also talked about getting his dad on board at some point.
The other good news is that I started the Family Connections group last week! He asked me all about it and I told him I will be sharing the information I get with him. I told him my main goal is to learn how to love my daughter and to have our family work together on helping her get well. He asked about the tools, the therapy, how to approach her. ... I am still in awe, greatly relieved, appreciative of him, of this board , of all I am learning.
