What an OPPORTUNITY for ME to GROW it IS To have a Child with these traits

[selfcaremama]

Wow, I feel like a child myself in a way at this time..

Hope you all are well and using this time for healing, time in nature and with loved ones and growth.

Last week was my first post after just joining this awesome resource and space.
Although I would like to have more actual conversations- as this text thread is new to me and I see not many replied to my post-and I'm mostly interested in having helpful dialogue with other parents of a young adult or youth with BPD traits as well as to be a support myself.

I held my boundary with my daughter last week and since and also have been offering her some self-expression tools I've developed as a sensitive being and she was so thankful and using them just two days ago. The thing is I ama ware how a lot of what I've tended to think of as "helpful" to her ends up not being helpful since I come from a codependent pattern and thankfully I'm in some 12 steps for this AND I am aware that i still have much growth to do in the area of boundaries and my own self-care and love. So ..I am going to go sit in my lovely ayrd in the sun wiht my hat and read the book : The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder by the awesome Woman who created this forum space and has helped so many rise to our value and teach self-respect and respect within those affected by this dis-order.

Next time I write I hope to share some good news about a boundary I've set and held and something positive or in that direction that's revealed.

thanks,

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[wendydarling]

Hi selfcaremama  - love your name and that you are doing just that. 

Welcome. I hear your relief in finding us and the wonderful resources. I hope it's positively life changing for you as it's been for me. I'm 4 years in.

I held my boundary with my daughter last week and since and also have been offering her some self-expression tools I've developed as a sensitive being and she was so thankful and using them just two days ago.

Wow, tell us more - what tools are you sharing with your DD?  That's great she's open to helping herself. Is your DD receiving any treatment?

Glad to meet you.

WDx

[livednlearned]

I feel the same way 

Codependent patterns can be so hard to break, especially when rescuing and saving look so much like altruism, strength, and giving.

Next time I write I hope to share some good news about a boundary I've set and held and something positive or in that direction that's revealed.

I look forward to that, too, selfcaremama.

For codependent types, setting limits can feel uncomfortable. I had to pay attention to how I felt (especially in my body) about putting my needs first and just letting those feelings go. Otherwise it was almost like an alarm system going off. I would make myself a priority and warning bells would go off, like I was doing something wrong or mean.

It can take a while to rewire old habit pathways.