Support; DIL is diagnosed BPD

[Peanut87]

My DIL is diagnosed BPD. She and my son recently reconciled after she left him for someone else for an extended time. We have been completely cut off from them since the reconciliation. They were married approximately 6 yrs prior to that and we have been dealing with her diagnosis for most of that. They have 3 children, 2 from her first marriage and one together. We are not allowed any communication with them at all. Prior to their reconciliation, my son was to donate his kidney to my husband, his Dad who is on dialysis. That is most likely not going to happen at this point. I am grateful to have found this forum. Thank you

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.

First, I am sorry for everything you are all going through, especially the situation with your husband.   

Your story is not an uncommon one, unfortunately.  We have many members with an in-law with BPD and estranged relationship with their adult child.  Not that that makes it any less painful. 

Do you think the reconciliation alone is causing the estrangement or did something else happen that may be a factor?  What was your relationship with your DIL like before they split?  With your son?

Sorry for all the questions.  Answer only what you feel comfortable with of course.  I am just trying to get an idea of what your situation is.  the more detail we have the better we can understand and perhaps guide you.

In the meantime, I hope you read and post more.

[livednlearned]

We are not allowed any communication with them at all.

Oof. That is painful to say the least.

Did you receive any explanation for why you aren't allowed to communicate?

[wendydarling]

Hi Peanut  

I join Harri and LnL welcoming you. Being part of a strong support group who understand is critical as I and many here learn. I'm glad you reached out and hope to hear more from you.  

WDx