We had to ask him to leave the house.

[pitchou]

ça me fait un grand bien de vous lire.  Je me sent moins seule.  Mon fils a 19 ans et il a lui aussi un TPL.  Nous avons aussi une autre fille de 11 ans.  Il était très agressif avec moi, surtout dans ses propos, mais les 2 dernières fois, il l'a été physiquement.  Nous avons dû lui demander de partir de la maison.  Il habite chez ses grands-parents.  Il m'en veut de lui avoir demandé de partir mais pour moi la violence était rendu intolérable.  Il brisait aussi la maison en donnant des coups de poings dans le mur, en claquant si fort les portes qu'il braisait les cadres de porte et j'avais aussi très peur qu'il s'en prenne encore à moi ou à sa soeur.  Et elle, elle grandissait dans un climat de violence verbale à la maison, ce qui n'était pas très bon pour elle.

Il m'en veut beaucoup et me déteste de lui avoir fait ça.  Il ne comprend pas du tout...  Tout est de ma faute.  Il semble n'avoir aucun regrès.  Cela fait 1 an qu'il nous parle que si il en a envie et il n'en a pas envie souvent...  C'est très difficile à vivre pour moi.  Il me manque.  Je souffre aussi de l'impuissance à laquelle je fais face de pouvoir l'aider à se sentir mieux.  Il boit beaucoup et prend de la drogue.  C'est très difficile et douloureux de voir son enfant se détruire ainsi.

Merci pour votre soutien.


Google translate:

it does me great good to read you. I feel less alone. My son is 19 and he also has BPD. We also have another 11 year old daughter. He was very aggressive with me, especially in his words, but the last 2 times, he was physically. We had to ask him to leave the house. He lives with his grandparents. He is angry with me for asking him to leave but for me the violence was made intolerable. He was also breaking the house by punching the wall, slamming doors so hard that he brazed the door frames and I was also very afraid that he would come after me or his sister again. . And she, she was growing up in an atmosphere of verbal abuse at home, which was not very good for her.

He is very angry with me and hates me for doing this to him. He doesn't understand at all ... It's all my fault. He seems to have no regrets. He has been talking to us for 1 year that if he wants to and he doesn't often want it ... It's very difficult for me. I miss him. I also suffer from the helplessness I am facing to be able to help her feel better. He drinks a lot and takes drugs. It is very difficult and painful to watch your child destroy himself like this.

Thank you for your support.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi and welcome.  I hope you do not mind, I ran your post through google translate as we use English on this site.  I am not sure how many people here are fluent in French and I wanted to be able to reply.

Anyway, I am glad you reached out for help and decided to post.  You will find that we are a supportive site where many other parents post to share and get help, advice and just have a place where people understand.

You have been dealing with a lot!   

It is very difficult and painful to watch your child destroy himself like this.

Yes, it is heart breaking to watch a loved one do this, I can't imagine watching my own child go through this.  (I am here because of a disordered parent)

What sort of support system do you have, other than here?  Friends, family? 

I hope you share more and get comfortable here.  In the meantime we have a lot of articles that you may find helpful.  They are tacked to the top of this page.  We talk about communication strategies, self care, understanding BPD behaviors and how they manifest in our loved one.  Check them out and see which one you want to talk about.

I hope to hear from you soon.