He broke up with me again

[B53]

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me for the fourth time in 6 months. I have educated myself with BPD. I was the one who recognized his patterns, presented it to him in a kind way and he is now in therapy and is serious about getting better.I told him that I would stand by him through this. After an episode he is able to look at what happened logically. Other then when he is acting out there is no bickering or relationship issues. He was physically abused as a child. Since he has started therapy his BP moments are happening more often. I think the COVID restrictions is not helping. It has taken its toll on me. I have been in verbally abusive relationships in the past, which can makes his acting out difficult. I have been in therapy in the past and have worked hard and felt that I was in a good place when we met. I was just starting to look for therapist that is familiar with BP. I am fluctuating between heartbreak and knowing I will be better off. Most likely he will be back, maybe not. The point is, is that I am incredibly sad and since this happened yesterday, not doing well. I’m 67 years  old and at this age its hard to find someone that enjoys your same interests and has the same future goals. If he comes back I don’t know what I will do.

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