I need help

[SGTChop]

Hello, I am currently married to my wife of 16 years who was diagnosed with BPD last year. This year of 2020 has been the most stressful of our lives.  It has been such a rollercoaster of a year with everything going on, I feel helpless and hurt all the time. I just need some support on what to do with my life.  Not matter what happens, it seems to be my fault someway or another.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

I'm sorry this has been such a stressful year, yet I'm glad you found us.  We can help you make sense of all this and support you.

I'm curious what your wife think of the diagnosis?  Is a therapist involved with either one of you guys?

We can help...looking forward to your reply.

Best,

FF

[Serenitywithin]

I am also in a marriage of 16 years to a BPD wife. I have four children. and am contemplating leaving or staying.

There were years i felt unloved for months at a time and then about the time I would be ready t be done with it she would go through the valuation stage and I would be the night in shining armor again. During down phases there would be no end in sight and i know that it can feel terrible.

There are good tools on this site, There are also a lot of good people. I will just let you know you are not alone in these feelings and sometimes just venting on here and getting some reassurances can go along way.

[SGTChop]

Formflier, my wife thought of the diagnosis was that she fit the criteria. She was diagnosed as bipolar for many years. She has being seeing therapists for many years. I’ve recently started seeing a therapist as well.

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What do you two fight about?