Bad day

[Depression = 72% of members]

I've had a very difficult few days.  We called in a plumber on Friday to repair a dripping tap, and as I expected my husband got unbelievably worked up about it all.  This means that he spends days telling me that I am going mad, or am in the early stages of dementia (I'm 75 years old and he's nearly 78).  In the days when we could see our GP in person, he always reassured me that I am neither mad nor developing dementia, and I still feel reasonably confident that neither of those things is true.  Today I accidentally spilled a glass of water (which made his clothes wet) and he ranted that I did it on purpose, that I deliberately go out of my way to upset him, and that he wishes he could die.  He's been saying that for years but believes he would be punished in the afterlife and so he says he won't do it.  I have recently increased my dose of Sertraline from 50g per day to 100g per day, and I'm feeling much better for it, but I still feel very sensitive to the sort of verbal attack I have to live through whenever he gets anxious about anything, be it a major crisis or a minor issue. 
It's good to know there are people I can "talk to" on these occasions.  (My GP has always said I can safely take up to 200g of Sertraline each day if I need to, but I've never gone over 100g, and don't need to now either).

[Kimberli]

I've had a very difficult few days.  We called in a plumber on Friday to repair a dripping tap, and as I expected my husband got unbelievably worked up about it all.  This means that he spends days telling me that I am going mad, or am in the early stages of dementia (I'm 75 years old and he's nearly 78).  In the days when we could see our GP in person, he always reassured me that I am neither mad nor developing dementia, and I still feel reasonably confident that neither of those things is true.  Today I accidentally spilled a glass of water (which made his clothes wet) and he ranted that I did it on purpose, that I deliberately go out of my way to upset him, and that he wishes he could die.  He's been saying that for years but believes he would be punished in the afterlife and so he says he won't do it.  I have recently increased my dose of Sertraline from 50g per day to 100g per day, and I'm feeling much better for it, but I still feel very sensitive to the sort of verbal attack I have to live through whenever he gets anxious about anything, be it a major crisis or a minor issue. 
It's good to know there are people I can "talk to" on these occasions.  (My GP has always said I can safely take up to 200g of Sertraline each day if I need to, but I've never gone over 100g, and don't need to now either).

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[formflier]

I'm curious how the plumber thing was getting your husband worked up.  Was he denying there was a dripping tap?

I hope you can find time to read the article below. 

What does it take to be in relationship

What was your first reaction from reading it?

I'll check back soon to read your response.  We can help!  I'm sure of it.

Best,

FF

[maxsterling]

I know the feeling.

I can anticipate and prepare myself for the "big things".  The little everyday things that pwBPD get worked up over are really tiring.  Most of us just deal with it and move on with our lives.  Like cleaning up spilled water.  Even going with to dinner with my wife is challenging.  She will find something either wrong with her food or the service every time. 

And I agree - having this place to vent amongst those who understand is quite helpful.

[truthdevotee]

Hi Kimberli, I know the feeling too.
I'm really tired with my pwBPD's behaviors. I am feeling especially triggered recently I think because I'm becoming more aware of my need for boundary setting. Things are getting better but it's slow... it's slow...
Incidentally I have a psychiatrist visit tomorrow and I might talk to him about increasing my Paxil a bit.