Why BPD daughters Target mothers ?

[Bluejay12]

Hi All,
I’ve read so many of your painful stories (while living my own) and just wonder why BPD seems to be far more prevalent in females of adult age rather than males?   And why, overwhelmingly, are their mothers targeted?   I’ve read many of the recommended books and have not found those answers yet.  Wondering if any of you can share your thoughts on this. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[By Still Water]

I have recently viewed a video in which a doctor claims that it is not more prevalent in girls. I’m thinking that our culture accommodates emotionalism In girls, while it frowns on it in boys. Boys may be the last to express needs for help, feeling the culture’s persuasion to “take it like a man.” Their BPD may go undiagnosed and be under-reported. As for girls and mothers, part of it may have to do with the more nurturing side we have, as moms, that girls push against. We, as females, are more emotionally responsive to other females; we instinctively know this when we get together with other females. We catch each others’ subtexts and nuances of meanings - which can have a plus side and negative side. Daughters may be more invested in kicking back at the person closest to them, the moms who’ve managed their upbringing with closer surveillance. In a weirdly dark way, they may sense that the parent they’re closest to may implicitly - by default - come with the wiggle room for explosions.  I may be totally wrong - just a hunch.

[beatricex]

I really think it has to do with hooks.  Have you ever dangled a hook in front of a man?  It takes a long time to get a bite.  But dangle one in front of a woman and she'll most times take it right away.  As a society woman are programmed to respond (ever notice I guy fretting over an unsupervised child?  but any normal woman, even if it's not her child will keep one eye on that kid).  Since moms and this includes stepmoms are more inclined to react, we get baited more often.

My step daughter disowned her mother first, then me her stepmom, and by default her Dad.  My husband has moved on, doesn't even care to talk about it, while I lose sleep .  The ultimatum actually given was that if my husband divorces me, he can see her two daughters!  They are 1 and 3 btw. What am I a serial killer?  , Of course not.  I'm not even dangerous, kids love me.  That is the problem.

my 2 cents, I may be wrong, but this is what I have observed