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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: The look of glassy dilated pupils  (Read 551 times)
BigOof
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Never-ending divorce
Posts: 376



« on: August 25, 2022, 10:04:03 AM »

I have to share this since I knew exactly what was being described. From:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/BPDlovedones/comments/wx0043/when_they_are_having_an_episode_are_their_eyes/

Excerpt
She said she felt unstable and every once in a while I'd look at her and her eyes just weren't her. I started to cry and then she asked if I was ok and showed remorse and changed like a switch. She raised her voice a lot and seemed very stressed because I mentioned earlier she had been seemingly more distant lately. When I was hanging out with her before her mood improved I had such bad heart palpitations it hurt really bad. I wish I didn't meet her I don't know if this is what she has though

Read through the comments. All too familiar.
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FirstSteps
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 150


« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2022, 06:35:00 PM »

Wow.  The comments were actually helpful for me.  This summer I really wondered if my uBPDw had a dissociative disorder as I felt like I was talking to such different people.  But they weren't separate personalities with different names, etc. 

"With the borderline, their core self retreats and an over exaggerated aspect of themselves is presented to you instead"

No idea if this is technically correct but rings so true to my experience - at least lately.
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