First post, afraid of the future

[September1234]

My partner has diagnosed BPD. The first year and a half  of our relationship, there weren't any of what I now call "episodes." He did a lot of trauma work in therapy and went off meds in order to do an alternative medicine treatment for his depression. Things seemed to shift then. The past year and a half have been filled with paranoia, fear of abandonment, and anger. We live with a few of my family members, and the fear of them being out to get him has taken center stage in our relationship. Today was especially hard with him believing that we all see him as a monster and him being engaged by that. It's just heartbreaking to watch him suffering so much and passing that suffering on to our loved ones. I can take the mean comments and outbursts, but seeing that hurt my family is just crushing. I'm afraid of things coming to a head and me having to decide between him or my family. I don't know what to do. I'm looking for a family therapist for us all (everyone is onboard with that), but it's hard to find someone with experience with BPD in the family.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome It's good that hear you're looking for ways to improve things. That's a good attitude to have and will help.

Do you have any boundaries to protect yourself and family from verbal abuse? "Stop Walking on Eggshells" and "Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist" are two essential reads in my opinion.