Well, I've expected that this would happen; my daughter has decided to call me by my name, rather than Mom. Has this happened to anyone else?
It doesn't come as a big surprise, as she has really acted out in the past few months in trying to get my attention. I have refused to give in to her drama and put up very strong boundaries.
Our last interaction (in October, 2021) caused a panic attack in me, that lingered for many days, so I have put up these boundaries to ensure my own mental health and well-being.
If this has happened to anyone, how did you cope? I don't want to acknowledge the hurt, because this seems to be giving into her need for control.
Any advice would be appreciated.
Many thanks
Bonnie
Hi Bonnie,
Yes this happened to me. I put my foot down.
My D has a bi-polar condition that she refuses to get treatment for. Currently she is not speaking to me because I refused to pay for her cell phone even though her grandparents gave her inheritance early and she has a job. So, I am just stating that up front because I chose to deal with things in one way and it came with consequences.
Which brings me to my point. I think your post is brilliant because you have distilled things down to the essentials. You asked for advice.
My advice is to go see a Solutions Focussed Therapist -
https://solutionfocused.net/what-is-solution-focused-therapy/ - and weigh out the pros-cons of what your feel you would like to do rather than the outcomes you wish to see. The first is entirely in your control while the second involves your child being reasonable and collaborating with you.
And once you make your decision, find a place to nurture the pain of the cost and build up your sense of endurance. From my experience, both personal and professional, dealing with children with mood disorders is a long hike, not a sprint. There are no quick fixes. (And this is me talking about my own story. Yours may be different).
So I hope this helps. Be kind to yourself. You're worth it.
Rev
