The police are being called

[Depression = 72% of members]

I need help and guidance. Things have gotten out of control with my wife and I don't know what to do anymore.

[HD214702]

I need help and guidance. Things have gotten out of control with my wife and I don't know what to do anymore.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[sam_the_wise]

Tell what is happening. Maybe talking about it helps. I have some very bad things happening to me today. Posted about it and now waiting for someone to listen and talk to me.

[HD214702]

She has been having major episodes and is being influenced by her friend. It's gotten so bad where the police are being involved and she is making things up. There is so much to it and it's hard to find a place to start. We have been together for 17 years and she was officially diagnosed 4 years ago, but looking back it has obviously been something she has had before we even got together. I have been questioning myself and even went to get myself evaluated to see if there is something with me.

[sam_the_wise]

It definitely is a serious situation. Although I am inexperienced and there are much better people here who will give better advice, I would like you to know that I feel you and understand how unbelievably difficult it is and how hurtful and painful it is to go through what you are going through.

I just had my therapy session about day I am having. My therapist told me, go to basics, eat, drink, sleep surround yourself with some good people and then think what you can do to protect yourself. I am going to do that. Maybe this will help you. Hope you find your way. Keep seeking help!

[I Am Redeemed]

Hi, HD, welcome to BPD family.

What led to the police being called? Is she making false accusations?

[Go3737]

Get a voice activated recorder and keep it with you at all times. She may call the cops and press false DV charges. You MUST avoid this at all costs. A VAR could keep you out of jail by proving you didn't do what she is claiming. Dont let her know about it.

[SaltyDawg]

I agree with Go3737.  Possibly use a dash cam as a body cam.  Use an app on your phone that will do the same (make sure the camera and mic are usable), save any incidents.  

If the police are called, it is "he said" vs "she said," and she will win 9/10 times as the judicial system is biased towards women if you don't have recordings.  Just be aware there are wire tapping laws about recordings that can usually be defeated in the name of 'safety'.  So, if there are no safety issues such as DV, know your state's laws (it varies from state to state).

If going to couple's counseling, get her to admit to whatever it is, and if it is DV the counselor/therapist is obligated to report it.