Hi Hunybun33 and welcome to the group. You're in a difficult place, so we're glad you felt like you could share with us what's going on in your life.
Just a few questions to help us understand your situation a little better --
How long have you and your partner been together?
What kinds of traits or behaviors have led you to suspect he has BPD? Or does he have an official diagnosis?
Are you in therapy yourself right now?
...
It sounds like the combination of your partner's behaviors plus your MDD is not a good combination -- at least, the way things have been going. The good thing about this group is that whether your partner is diagnosed or not, there are new tools and skills you can learn and try, that have the potential to "turn down the heat" in your interactions and make things more tolerable. While the new approaches sometimes aren't intuitive, and can take time, there is hope for you to change the dynamic. A good place to start here is checking out our section of articles on
When a partner/spouse has Borderline Personality Disorder. Feel free to give it a look and let us know your thoughts.
Again, welcome -- you're in a good place with others who really understand what you're going through.
kells76