Unless my wife walks back her long said and often repeated threats to fight to ensure I am Disney dad if we divorce I don’t see us working together and based on her high conflict personality the advice I’ve gotten is to tell the kids myself. She will talk and explain to them, she won’t shut up and listen, she will talk over me and correct me. I wish I thought differently.
But isn't the question, what is best for your children?
Stepping away from your anger at your wife, what schedule is actually best for your children based on their age, personality, distance of the homes, etc.? And your work commitments?
What is the % time they spend with your wife now? She is currently more than 50%. Right?
It's not a competition for
all vs none or
50/50 vs Disney dad (80/20). It's about what fits. There is 60/40, 70/30 and variations in each of those that move the percentage upward (summer break schedules, etc.). Don't let the anger cloud or pollute your desire to do what is best for the kids as well as realistic for you.
Have you had a chance to look at at parenting time calendars?
I don’t see us working together and based on her high conflict personality the advice I’ve gotten is to tell the kids myself.
Read this one paragraph:
50/50 schedules work best when:
The parents live fairly close to each other, so exchanges are easier.
The parents are able to communicate with each other about the child
without fighting.
The child is able to handle switching between parents' homes.
Both parents are committed to putting the child's best interest first.
The parents agree that the 50/50 schedule is the best one for their child.
When you say
"I don’t see us working together" are you pretty much conceding 50/50%?
I don’t see us working together and based on her high conflict personality the advice I’ve gotten is to tell the kids myself.
This is a high conflict statement in and of itself. It says, I can't even try to be reasonable and it is her fault.
Stay focused on the outcome. Do not get caught up in the drama. Drama favors her.
And yes, she will likely ask for full custody... and 10 years alimony... and child support, but what does she have to back it up?
