Reversing a Break Up - No Contact vs. Neutral period, I see both suggested

[forgotmyusername53]

Sometimes people here say after a breakup you should go no contact. They may see the mistake and fear you leaving and come back.

I also see people say another option - NOT to do a big romantic apology/pursuit but at the same time you shouldn't be completely gone to where they will forget and move on. Like just send a neutral hello or an inside joke you guys share or something once after 2 weeks or so as a bid to say hey its me...

We were in a rough patch but over something small she ended it 1 month ago. First time she's done that in our 3 year r/s.

Last time we spoke last week she said she doesn't care about me at all, its over.
The week before she text me I love you after a long talk about how I am horrible and she's done.

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[kells76]

Hello forgotmyusername53 and

We were in a rough patch but over something small she ended it 1 month ago. First time she's done that in our 3 year r/s.

What was the issue (even if it seemed small)?

How did the "ending it" conversation go down -- text, email, in person, phone...? What did she say?

[forgotmyusername53]

The small thing was that she said I wasn't happy to fix her tire when everybody else wanted to give her a ride and help.
(I did change the tire, I said "let me do it in the morning, I'm at work." Next day after I came over to fix it (at 6am btw.) She said she was sick of not getting her needs met and she was done with me.
I agreed and said me too. (felt unappreciated, this was another love test I get constantly)

I called up to talk three weeks later to check on her. She told me about how I sucked her personality away, completely ruined her identity and would never be happy with her. Blamed me for every issue in her life non-stop. I tried to smooth things over and apologized, told her I can understand she's mad and see why, I felt frustrated with things too. By the end of it we were talking about old stories we had. She was laughing some. I hung up, she text me that she loved me.

Next morning I sent flowers to her work to apologize. All day she ignored it, at night I called to see what happened and she said "Wtf are you doing. We're over for good. You think this makes you not a _____ boyfriend? etc. I apologized, said I didn't want to throw it all away, I missed her. She said she was numb and didn't want to talk to me.

1 week later she text my mom asking if my mom has heard from me.
1 day later I text her an old photo of us and said "hey how you doing?"
She called up to tell me in great detail that I am a massive piece of crap, ruining her life, etc. She doesn't want to be with me. The relationship has been ruined and broken, etc. She doesn't care what I do. I said okay well I understand but I would like to be here, and if I come in very gently and slowly, no stress, could we do that? She said I have to go to bed now.

That was 1 week ago.